Uncreativity

With my Sims 3 game properly modded for non-random-babby-forming purposes, I have been playing A WHOLE FUCKING LOT. I made an ACROSS house, as I do every Sims game (for this one, rather than giving them all the last name "ACROSS" I named them what they would ICly respond to a question of their last name... so Excel is "Excel SECRET!!!!" and Hyatt is "Hyatt Oh My" and Elgala is "Elgala I," get it, like I, Elgala, and... yeah. I love my damn Sims.)

Il Palazzo has the Insane trait, so he has options like "talk madness" and "talk about conspiracies" in his dialogue options, and even better, he can "Talk to Self" at any point. IT'S HILARIOUS. Also, Excel has been to prison twice already. I CALL THIS SUCCESS.

Speaking of Sims, this Alice and Kev blog, which is chronicling the lives of two homeless sims (basically, all they have on their lot is two park benches). I think it's supposed to be like... touching and emotional or something, but I find it mostly hilarious. EITHER WAY, it's an entertaining read. I'm tempted to download them and stick them in my crappy neighborhood - basically I have one neighborhood that's mostly fictional characters, where they all live fun and productive lives, and one that's all OCs, where I breed them all, torture them, kill them, and otherwise make them suffer in every way possible.

Speaking of my crappy neighborhood, I made a Sim version of myself just to see what she would do. Thus far, she sleeps, eats, goes to work, comes home, and watches TV (she doesn't have enough money to buy a computer yet). So basically, accurate to real life, but totally boring. I'm not sure what I was expecting from my terrible self-deprecating self-Sim, but it wasn't boringness, that's for certain.

ETA: WAIT A SECOND, IT JUST GAVE SIM-ME THE OPTION TO MOVE IN WITH A BOY. No longer boring or accurate to real life!! :ooo

ETA 2: Also he lives with his family in a house worth 188k. This is like the exact opposite of real life.

ETA 3: AND THEN THE GAME CRASHED lololololo

STAR TREK WAS FUCKING AMAZING

Despite having a nonsensical plot premise based around a nerd's masturbation fantasy, Chuck is a pretty good show.

Actually, it's two pretty good shows. One about wacky spy adventures, one about wacky Best Buy adventures. The spy plots are kind of bland and episodic, but they involve a lot of fight scenes so I can't ask for much more, and also there's Casey, who's played by Jayne from Firefly, and is the manliest character that's ever been in anything. I swoon every time he does anything, trufax. And the Best-Buy segments are easily the best in the show, starring a cast of quirky, utterly hilarious losers. The problem is with Chuck himself, and Sarah the lady-spy, and the FUCKING ANNOYING AND TERRIBLE ROMANCE THAT EATS THE ENTIRE SHOW.

Why couldn't it just be two shows? It's like Emilee said, they're two great tastes that... are together. And the Chuck/Sarah relationship is PAINFULLY awful. It manages to be annoying at least four times an episode. Chuck's not so bad on his own (for a giant Gary Stu), and neither is Sarah. But together, I'd give them a 33% on the Kate Scale.

(The Kate Scale, is my new official way of rating anything that pisses me off; the scale goes from 0% to 100%, 100% being Kate from Lost.)

Anyway, we discovered the secret to make this show completely enjoyable... namely, to assume that everything related to spies is, in fact, Chuck's masturbation fantasy. He really is a loser, Sarah really does work at the yogurt stand, and Casey's just some psycho (albeit the manliest, sexiest psycho on the face of the planet). Not only does the plot make more sense, but you can imagine what Chuck's actually doing while he's fantasizing about Sarah, like maybe he's mopping up vomit in aisle seven and weeping softly.

IN CONCLUSION, for the first time ever I'm driven to watch Firefly, so I can lust after Jayne. AWESOME.