I found a cord for the desktop, but it turns out the thing won't turn on anyway. The universe is apparently really against me playing the Sims. Oh well.

This afternoon I finally watched the unaired Heroes pilot. I must say, I'm glad Issac never ended up cutting off his own hand. But I did kind of like Amid. More than Ted Sprague, who never really did it for me.

I think I'm going to rewatch the first season before the third airs.

Also, this commercial just talked about the "Epic Wisconsin Vacation." I lol'd for real.

I haven't really eaten anything yet today, so I think I'm going to do that. I feel in a writing mood, maybe I can finally get that RP entry done that Deej has been nagging at me about. :)

Yesterday, while at my cousin's high school graduation, I had a revelation: I don't think college is for me. I don't feel like I'm achieving anything, and I'd much rather be out in the world doing something. I really want to join the Peace Corps or something similar, but I also really need to finish college first. They want it, and my family would be disappointed if I didn't. Plus I'd be fucked once I came back if I didn't have an education to lean back on. I'm just so sick of formal education. Fifteen years is a really long time, especially since that's 3/4 of my entire life. I can't even remember my first five years when I wasn't being schooled. I just... I hate it. It feels useless and I feel trapped by it. I want to do something real.

...On a lighter note, I've been testing the waters of fanfiction again; I joined a few weekly challenge communities and have written some ficlets for them. I'm certainly enjoying it, but I find myself just kind of writing and not trying to make it good. It's certainly not bad, and people keep commenting all "Oh, it's written so nicely!" but I know I'm not trying very hard. I joined one community where the challenge is to write a fic in 10-20 fandoms centering around the one word of your choice. It's intrigued me the most of everything, but the maintainer seems to not be maintaining at the moment. I think I'll start on them anyway, and just not post them to the community, because it's the one thing that's sparking something at the moment.

Hopefully this will help with my original writing. That was the point, anyway. Even if doesn't, though, I'm enjoying it.

I'm trying to get back into writing again. Working on my Setka universe has been failing, so I'm almost tempted to dip into fanfiction again.

The thing is, I read bad fanfiction for fun. I love it when people have everyone out of character and write horribly otherwise. I'm always afraid that that's what my writing looks like, so I never want to post it. But then I feel like I wrote it for no reason, so I have no drive to write it at all.

Yes, I'm odd.

I think I'll just have to suck it up and deal, though, because I really want to get working on Setka again. I want to finish the main story at some point, but fo realz. I'm just too intimate with the characters to let them die like that. It starts out with three different storylines, only two of them obviously related, and it's the tying them together part that's being difficult. I know what I want to accomplish once I do, it's just the explaining how they all suddenly know each other that I'm having issues with. Hrm. I'm also not sure how to treat the passage of time, because from the beginning to the end (or at least the beginning to the climax) I want there to be approximately 10-15 years. I'm not sure if I want it to be gradual or if I want to be like, "AND THEN TEN YEARS LATER LOL."

I guess I'll figure it out whenever I start working on it again.