My loan application got denied really late, and nobody else will give me a loan on my mother's credit either. My GPA is shit. Long story made incredibly short 'cause I'm tired of rehashing it? I'm fucking screwed.

I'm meeting with my advisor sometime this week, but I'm pretty much going to have to drop out of at least this semester. I haven't had textbooks so I'm way behind on the homework, and there's no way I'm going to get enough money to actually pay the university. Argh.

...Is it bad that right now I'm most upset about losing my Korean classmates?

And in unrelated news, "Music like Cobra Starship" is disappointingly not that much like Cobra Starship and more "Music like Fall Out Boy." Though I suppose I can forgive last.fm because there really isn't anything like CS. <3

Yeah, it's been awhile. I haven't been updating my LJ either (in longer than this) so I only feel kind of bad.

Uh, school's started again. I'm taking Quechua, Korean, Syntax, and Shakespeare. It's been great so far. Though this morning I feel incredibly ill and I'm wondering if I'll even make it through Quechua, let alone my other two classes today. Blech.

I also feel bad that I was so against AU!Katara as a headmate earlier. Her character really developed and I absolutely love her now. So this is an apology from the head you're living in: I LOVE YOU BB, DON'T LEAVE ME. But I could do without you talking about sex all through Syntax.

Uhh I thought I had something else to say, but I can't think of it. My head's all spinny and my stomach is rebelling against the water I had. This isn't going to end well.

Nothing much new over here, I'm just bored. My mom just moved into town, and my sister has to stay at home while she's at work, so I'm going to be chilling here during the day this week until she gets used to it or whatever. I'm on a dodgy gacked wireless connection until my mom's internet gets set up, but at least it's something.

No luck whatsoever on the job search, which is pissing me off. It's almost the school year again. Argh.

Crack!Katara is now like... fully integrated. She talks more than anyone but Mar at this point. She also talks to Mar sometimes, which is the weirdest interaction ever. I mean, she asked her for dating advice. Which I will only ever admit to here and now. XD Her character has at least leveled out now, and in some respects she is very sweet. And she's absolutely adorkable and awkward in love while still wanting to sleep with everybody. She's like... a morbid cross between I CARES 4 U and Cutthroat Bitch, but with hair loopies and a clique. >> I have no idea why my brain feels the need to make that comparison, but it does.

I got to campus way too early, so I'm chilling in the Gen-Biotech building until it's closer to my appointment time. I saw my old advisor, but I don't think he recognized me. Oh well. It reminded me that I need to get to Ag Hall and officially drop my genetics major. And while I'm at it I need to check up on my loan status. Hrm.

Hopefully something will get figured out at this appointment. When I'm walking around in humidity, I itch horribly everywhere my clothing can rub against my skin. It's driving me insane. And my wrist is still being bitchy, but there's nothing that can really be done about that besides being careful about it. I also need to remember to make that farking appointment with my psychiatrist, which I am going to go do right now before I forget.

This was the most necessary post ever.

Yesterday, while at my cousin's high school graduation, I had a revelation: I don't think college is for me. I don't feel like I'm achieving anything, and I'd much rather be out in the world doing something. I really want to join the Peace Corps or something similar, but I also really need to finish college first. They want it, and my family would be disappointed if I didn't. Plus I'd be fucked once I came back if I didn't have an education to lean back on. I'm just so sick of formal education. Fifteen years is a really long time, especially since that's 3/4 of my entire life. I can't even remember my first five years when I wasn't being schooled. I just... I hate it. It feels useless and I feel trapped by it. I want to do something real.

...On a lighter note, I've been testing the waters of fanfiction again; I joined a few weekly challenge communities and have written some ficlets for them. I'm certainly enjoying it, but I find myself just kind of writing and not trying to make it good. It's certainly not bad, and people keep commenting all "Oh, it's written so nicely!" but I know I'm not trying very hard. I joined one community where the challenge is to write a fic in 10-20 fandoms centering around the one word of your choice. It's intrigued me the most of everything, but the maintainer seems to not be maintaining at the moment. I think I'll start on them anyway, and just not post them to the community, because it's the one thing that's sparking something at the moment.

Hopefully this will help with my original writing. That was the point, anyway. Even if doesn't, though, I'm enjoying it.

One of these days, procrastinating is going to be the end of me.

Stuff I need to get done this week:

-Ling Problem Set #9
-The Reindeer People paper
-한글 PowerPoint (presenting Friday)
-Go to the library to get resources for 한글 PowerPoint
-Study for Anthro final on Thursday
-Study for Ling final next Tuesday
-Ask mom for money to give to library
-Pay public library for my extremely late books
-Start packing up my crap
-Redo my resume
-Check back with people about my sent job applications
-Reschedule OB-GYN appointment
-Pick up Errin prescription
-Schedule with psychiatrist
-Die in a fire