Jacqueline A. Parker

GUESS WHAT I'm going home tomorrow to have lunch with my dad or whatever, but more important he said he would buy me inline skates. So the weather is kind of shitty this weekend, right? But after that I'm going to tear it upp, obviously.

Oh and HOW SWEET, Vampire Weekend is going to be in Boston on April 1st. SO I'M GOING. YOU'RE FREE TO COME IDC mostly. Yes I realize this is April Fool's Day and the ~biggest deal ever~ but it's at like 8pm or something so I won't be missing shit.

Wow I barely slept AT ALL this week I am running on Red Bull it's pretty great.

CANADA!!!! Damn it, Miller. AND CROSBY. YOUR FAULT. And this was after totally fucking over Team USA in short track? NOT ON.

Aside from my patriotic rage, the weekend was of course awesome. I love snowboarding a lot, you guys. I didn't manage the Double McTwist, though I can do a regular McTwist pretty damn well. I also didn't break my face, I'm just a little bruised. And my double cork is officially flawless. I'm no Shaun White yet, but it's only a matter of time! Clearly I need to start by getting myself to the X-Games.

So hopefully everyone else had fun too because obv that was the whole point. Possibly I failed at teaching a couple people? But then this is why I would be a terrible coach.

ETA: MARCO I DARE YOU TO GROW AN EVIL VILLAIN MUSTACHE. It's for a good cause, I swear. Also it would rock.

McTwist bitch!

Guys what are my chances of getting with Shaun White? He's awesome, we could board and play video games. And smoke up because the dude is a total pothead, right? Alternately, what are my chances of pulling off a Double McTwist 1260? Would I break my face on the halfpipe y/n?

I'M SO BORED I'M GOING INSANE. I am running out of ways to amuse myself and need serious help.

ETA: IT'S BEEN DECIDED. I'm going boarding this weekend, bitches, and you're all invited. I need an entourage, and also someone to call the ambulance if I break my face. I'll be bullying my snowboarding friends from Boston into coming with, so it'll be a party. Someone bring the booze.

Oh, there's also skiing there, if you're interested, Lela, but it won't be as awesome.

Do I have time to take up more sports? I've been pretty much glued to the Olympics, as some of you might have guessed. The US teams are doing well! I thought men's speed skating with Apolo and JR was especially awesome. And despite that Georgian luger's horrifying death, I want to try luge. It's so fast. Plus Hannah Kearney in moguls. Winter sports are so cool. I can snowboard but these people are amazing.

Plus isn't Apolo Ohno a cool name?

Oh, happy Valentine's, too! Mari, you better believe I pillaged the sweets you provided.

[Charmed private to Upper Academt students]

Okay, what is up with those emails? It's freaky but also really sketchy. Does anyone really believe it?

Can I get a snowball fight up in here?

This week was hellish. Isn't it always the worst when you're out of school and you get to sleep whenever or go hang out and generally fuck off from books for two weeks, but then suddenly you CAN'T? Well, it's my worst, anyway. When's Spring Break, again? I'm already aching for more time off. And I want to go away.

Anyway, the holidays were loud but really pretty fun. That much family always causes a headache, especially since Christmas was held at my house this year. But it was okay. There was a bit of an almost-disaster when my little Muggle cousin found my broom, but it was averted! Thanks to my day-saving powers, of course. (Okay, my brother helped, too.) As for presents, I got pretty much everything I wanted, barring a couple of movies, and also some stuff that I...did not want.

Oh! I also acquired some bitchin' new skills. It was a damn productive break, if I do say so myself.

So I'm back in Boston for Thanksgiving, although tomorrow morning we're going up to Lexington to spend the actual day with my grandparents and some other family. I got home on Sunday and I don't think my mom has hugged me that hard, like, ever. She is freaking out about what happened on Halloween, I guess, and obviously she read the paper and knows that it happened in other places. I guess she wanted to pull Elliott and I out, but Dad talked her out of it. Thank god, it would suck to be home all the time. I'd rather risk whatever is going on.

Anyway, naturally it'll be equal parts awkward and fun. Always the way with family Thanksgivings, I guess.

Also? If anyone is planning to be around to Boston/general MA area post-Thanksgiving, I really need to have a reason to get out of this house for extended periods of time. Seriously, freaking out. I fear that it's contagious.

So this post-Halloween week has been kind of shit, right? It's not just me? My birthday was not anything special a birthday, so that was nice, but everything with the Headmaster? Not so much. Last night's game was like the cherry on top. I'll never be able to go pro if we keep losing what the fuck. I know it's early and I've still got another year, but - it counts. Can I not do anything right?

Basically life sucks.

Whatever. I'm going for a run, hopefully things won't continue to suck this much.

You know what? Winning Friday's game was an extremely satisfying way to make up for Homecoming. Sure, the dance portion of Homecoming was actually pretty great, but I feel a lot better about the rest of it now.

Anyway, I'm terribly bored, and am about to run off and find a way to entertain myself. Well, first I'm probably going to actually go for a run, but then I will entertain myself. Anyone have a suggestion?

Well shit, who decided to nominate me for Queen of anything? Even if it is, unfortunately, a powerless position. I want to be nominated for a position with power, fyi. This is still pretty awesome though.

I'm turning my room into ~campaign headquarters and kicking Ally out, because she is my competition. Sorry Ally! Every girl for herself.

...Not really. Campaigning would just require sliiightly too much effort, so whatever. I go with the flow, y'all. I am a leaf on the wind.

Blah blah vote for me this is an extremely important if powerless position you know and I am the coolest person around. This message has been approved by Jacqueline Adrienne Parker.

Oh Lord, I can't believe school has started already. On one hand, it's kind of awesome that I'm (finally) a junior, and on the other hand, I had to wake up early again today. Miserable. I have a free period tomorrow, though. There's at least one other hour I can sleep. Back to struggling through education, though. Still, now that I'm on campus again I can use the quodpot field to practice instead of my backyard, so that, at least, is infinitely preferable.

Summer was awesome, though. I miss it already. I got to spend some more time at the beach after Ally's weekend, so now I'm actually tan. It's an improvement, I think.

[Private]

Of course, mom and dad spent the entire time arguing. I was out of the house the whole summer, basically. Could have been worse, I guess. Could have been less alcohol-fueled parties, for instance. That would have been tragic.

[/Private]

Oh, fuck, finals. Well, I think we can all just assume that the next four weeks are going to suck. Especially considering my general desire to avoid all things studying-related.

I spent like half the day yesterday watching the Confederations Cup final match. USA lost to Brazil 3-2, but considering they were playing Brazil that's pretty good. I didn't get to see all of it like I wanted to, but I did see Donovan making such a gorgeous goal, I almost thought we could win it there for a while.

Anyway, the point is that that's the last time I'm just hanging out (well, that's the plan now), as much as it pains me. I'd really like to not fail.

So, like I said to Keegan, it seems that the entire school has exploded into kittens. So that's fun, although I think I'll be refraining from getting one myself. I think my parents would give me severely disapproving looks if I show up at home with a kitten. And also throw a fit.

In other news, it seems as though I was so tired because I'm sick. Clearly it was worse than I thought. Not, you know, on-the-brink-of-death sick, just this-really-fucking-sucks-I-hate-life sick. Why the hell am I getting sick in the middle of June, anyway. I hate being sick. Life sucks and my brain is made of cotton and fuzz.

Well shit, it's time for Quodpot tryouts already. It kind of sneaks up on you. When you're already on the team, anyway, I remember being nervous as all hell when it was actually time for me to try out. Good times.

Anyway, I have been sort of exhausted today, so actually it would probably be better for the tryouts to be, like, tomorrow, because in this state I'm just sort of bleary-eyed and not really the best judge of talent. I can't even really explain why. It sucks. I hate being tired. A lot.

Luckily I have energy drinks stockpiled. Although Best Week Ever informed me that Red Bull in a couple countries was taken off the shelves because it contained trace amounts of cocaine. So...that seems unsafe. Oh well.

Anyone want to hang out this week? You can help make sure I haven't become a coke addict via Red Bull.

Yeah, I think we can all agree that shit has officially hit the fan. And it's totally, totally shitty and wrong, but that is really all I'm going to say. Seriously, what is with the drama recently? Chill the fuck out, people. It's stupid and immature, and I am experienced in the ways of stupidity and immaturity.

Whatever, just...anyone want to hang out this weekend? I want to go into town or something, this week has been lame. I need to do something funnn.

Oh, hey, also: if anyone runs into Elliot at any point, just do me a favor and remind him that his sister is always right okay thanks.

You know that little thrill you get when you find new, awesome music? I love that.

Another thing I love is my team being bomb and winning the final match, but that is just a whole other, similarly awesome story.

In other news, I cannot sleep. Classes tomorrow, what? Sleep is for the weak anyway. But if anyone else is up I would not be opposed to being kept company, since it can get sort of boring.

Oh, Mother's Day. I love my mother, of course, but do you know what I really love about her? The veiled insults at both me and Dad about the fact that I don't give a shit about history and assorted other academic programs. And then fawning over Elliot. Sorry, I am a little bitter. We have a rocky relationship. It was still okay, though. I did end up getting her a history book, but it was just because I thought she would like it while I was also getting flowers and a bracelet in town. Once the insults tapered off it was a really enjoyable lunch.

Dad was talking about coming down for the final game next week if he can, though, so I am likely to have full blown anxiety by Friday. Awesome! I look forward to it.

Anyway, I had a really good weekend. Friday was fairly fantastic the best day ever, and then Star Trek on Saturday was so amazing. I loved it! Please don't be alarmed if I just randomly wish you to live long and prosper. Or do the whole "SET PHASERS TO STUN." Actually, you might also be prepared for "Damnit man, I'm a doctor, not a [insert profession here]" Sorry, I just loved it. I used to watch the TV show with Dad. (P.S. How badass is the Vulcan nerve pinch?)

Oh look at that, I have homework to do. Who would have guessed. Although I feel like I'm the only one in the world who feels this way, but Latin is actually not that hard. It's no fun translating, but it's not hard. I generally manage to do it in the morning before class, at least.

Oh my goddd someone help me get this stupid Fall Out Boy song out of my head. I don't even know which Fall Out Boy song it is but I can't remember the next word so these two lines just keep looping. Earlier, for the record, it was Hollywood Undead, which was not looping but which gets really tiring after a while. Like, really tiring.

Anyway, I guess we all had good weekends, from what I'm hearing. But, you know, I had a good weekend, anyway, so that is my main concern. Although even Elliot did fun stuff, so no one else has an excuse. (Kidding.) (Sort of.) (I love you, El.) The party was good, though. Maybe on Mother's Day I should break the news to my parents that I'm going to change my name to Chastity and become a stripper. Jac and/or Jacqueline just are not suitable stripper names, you know?

Blah blah Quodpot practice is long and tiring but worth it I need to go into Salem and get something for Mother's Day that will be satisfactory but more original than a history book punctuation is for suckers

Annd I'm hanging out with Keegan on Friday and I don't know I guess it seems like more of a big deal than usual? Possibly this is just because it's planned ahead? I don't know. I'm...nervous is the wrong word. Excited! Jittery! Words never work for me. Whatever. Plans ruin everything! Ow, shit, note to self: lip biting hurts.

You know what this school needs more of? Fireworks.

It is so nice out, guys. And I swear I'm trying to get my homework done but it's taunting me. I need to dooo something. I don't think teachers will really accept "It was too nice out to do homework!" (not that I know from experience or anything) but I may have to resort to that.

Oh oh but I need something to do this weekend. Entertain me, minions dear friends!

Anyway other than that fairly normal stuff is happening. I have a bruise on my arm, though. I can't remember why! I don't think it was some Tragic Quodpot Accident that I blocked from my memory. I probably ran into a door or something.

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