may i suggest the chinese restaurant in the forest

LAST CROSS-POSTED ENTRY

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 23:11:51 GMT

OKAY GUYS I AM NOW OFFICIALLY BACK ON LIVEJOURNAL. PLZ TO BE READING BELMANOIR INSTEAD. INKSOME: WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS.

Argh. Spent all day at work thinking about DS Match fic and DO NOT HAVE TIME TO WORK ON IT. ARGH.

Also! I am the guest reccer at lj comm="ds_recsredux" this week! My theme: dorkiness. Because BOYS! My first post (focusing on Fraser; I'm doing Kowalski on Wednesday and Vecchio on Friday) is up here. Check it, and then read everything I rec! Because dorky!Fraser fic is LOVE.

So. On to the important thing: A Knight's Tale is FUCKING FANTASTIC OMG. About five minutes into the movie the entire crowd at a joust started clapping and pounding on things and singing "We Will Rock You."

mrs_laugh_track: This is kind of the moment when people figure out if they're going to really like this movie, or really not like this movie.
belmanoir: ::bounces up and down with gleeeee::

And! And! Heath Ledger being adorable and young! A chick blacksmith played by the girl from "Neverwhere"! Really crazy hats! Rufus Sewell (riding Bad Horse--srsly, there was a terrible death whinny)! Team!kink (which I totally didn't even know I HAD, and then they were all pitching in to write Heath Ledger's love letter to his girlfriend and making up traditional songs for their imaginary country of origin and walking together in slow motion and I was like EEEEEE)! Alan Tudyk's WTF face! Paul Bettany's ass PLAYING CHAUCER!

Why didn't anyone TELL me?

Picspam here.

Teaser:

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 22:23:16 GMT

Via petronelle, possibly the most adorable photograph currently in existence:

EEEE! His HAIR! And his GLASSES! And his TIE! And his SMIIIIIILE! Do me, Don McKellar!

This thread from yesterday's comments is basically the greatest thing in my life right now. It started out as me telling blackcurrant about me and mrs_laugh_track's idea about Joe Dick and Kowalski being accountability buddies in some kind of support organization for overemotional men, and the two of us have been elaborating on it ever since. You've always wanted to read an analysis of why Vecchio is totally punk rock, haven't you? ME TOO!! Plus, fundraising car washes, Vecchio and Joe going grocery shopping together, Joe complaining about new-sweater smell, and MUCH, MUCH MORE.

Seriously, I was supposed to have this super productive day yesterday, and instead I spent the entire day thinking about Joe Dick making brownies from a mix and talking F/V meta with brynnmck. It was awesome. Fandom, you bring the light into my life.

And now--back to transcribing Flashpoint! And maybe, later, making "A Knight's Tale" icons. DS Match? What's that?

Oh hey, also, naominovik is at the UW Bookstore at 7 on Monday and I'm going with ursule. Anyone want to come with? kormantic, you in?

REMINDER: At the end of this week I am moving back to livejournal and will stop posting over here. Plz to be reading belmanoir instead!

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:43:52 GMT

hey, i posted here:

http://belmanoir.livejournal.com/75651.html

sorry, i was really gonna do the x-posting thing, but the post is kinda long without the cuts and i didn't want to spam when i don't have to. featuring a Dark Knight fic rec and some more joy day snippets (joe dick hits a possum in the van! fraser and the rays watch psych!).

REMINDER: At the end of this week I am moving back to livejournal and will stop posting over here. Plz to be reading belmanoir instead!

New fic! And other stuff

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 04:14:26 GMT

So catwalksalone and I were talking and she said something about Vecchio washing Fraser's hair with anti-lice shampoo and how adorable that would be, and guess what my brain did today at work? AAAND you've met me before, so you know. Thanks Cat for a rockin' prompt!

What does my hair say? F/V, PG, 634 words. Ray washes Fraser's hair with Nix.

Also, I am officially not linking to Dinosaur Comics anymore because if you don't already read it, we can't be friends. Oh my god today's alt-text is the BEST!

...OK I was bluffing. Here it is.

Yesterday I went swimming with kormantic. It was pretty boss. We kicked an old lady in the head and then ate Indian food, at which point we realized that Elaine/Maggie is the BEST THING EVER. Also imagine Elaine moving to Canada and joining the Mounties. ELAINE IN THE BLUE UNIFORM. ::dies:: This MUST exist already! Please send recs!

Also I lurve DS Match, and the second Flashpoint episode made me cry.

REMINDER: At the end of this week I am moving back to livejournal and will stop posting over here. Plz to be reading belmanoir instead!

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 21:39:26 GMT

Aw, I got an adorable Whimsy Bomb! I just want to say, Team Whimsy has been taking rather a confrontational approach to this whole thing, and you know, I just don't see any point in that. I have nothing to prove, because I know in my heart that Team Reality is better. So go look at my lovely little F/V wingfic!! ♥ It's so cute I think I threw up a little in my mouth. ♥

good cop, bat cop

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 04:03:17 GMT

Me and mrs_laugh_track and patosa went to see Batman today.

For the review go here because it's a bit (a TINY bit) spoilery and I didn't want to post it uncut.

Also, mrs_laugh_track sang me the Time Travel Sex Guy theme song! All three verses! Oh, don't all turn green at once. ::is lucky::

Hey, and I forgot to mention this earlier, but I wrote a Dresden Files/due South x-over for qe2's birthday:

"The sun was a shadow of leaves," Harry/Bob, F/K/V, NC-17, ~3500 words.

AND brynnmck wrote me birthday fic!!!! Impressions on Apartment 3J, F/V, sort of a 6 things Ray fingerprints fic. GO READ IT! It is everything you want from Fraser-POV F/V, there is so much longing and repression and Vecchio-adoration, my heart just...POOF! And Fraser is turned on by Vecchio reading his book. MMMMM.

Fraser could hear the pads of Ray's fingers sliding against the well-worn paper, the same paper Fraser's own fingers had traced a thousand times.

"Wordsworth—" The word came out hoarse; Fraser cleared his throat. "Wordsworth rather famously defined poetry as the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings from emotions recollected in tranquility."

Ray snorted. "Yeah, and you're the expert on spontaneous overflows of feelings, right, Benny?"

He said it without heat, clearly still distracted by the book, but Fraser felt the impact like the first blast of wind and ice when he stepped outside his cabin in midwinter. He knew how he must look to Ray—Ray, who rarely seemed to have a thought to which he didn't give voice, who, in fact, frequently gave voice to things that he didn't appear be thinking about at all, just a steady rolling aria of words wrapping around them both.

Fraser is so SAD, and then Ray is so AWESOME, and then they're so HAPPY, and...Brynn, you are amazing, you know that right?

The Return of Time Travel Sex Guy

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:58:29 GMT

me: time travel sex guy/hcl crossover?
Sonia: Well that would use time travel. Also sex. So I approve it. *uses stamp of approval*
me: like, what i want to know is, would he try to save joe? or like, would they have run into him at some point in their youth, inspiring the time travel game?
Sonia: HE INSPIRED THE GAME. Because that hand motion which has nothing to do with time travel is exactly how Kowalski would try and explain how his powers worked.
me: OMG YES!!! he'd be like...."it's like a tunnel, see? or no, it's like an apple peeler..." and little billy and joe would be SO FASCINATED and sekritly crushing on him.

as Sonia said, "THIS MAY BE OUR GREATEST CREATION YET."

More Joy Day snippet

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:35:35 GMT

for simplystars, prompt: "Anything Dief-ish, or Fraser & Ray/s friendship, or long-suffering-but-with-that-dry-wit Welsh." She gets all three!

5 Things Welsh Really Wishes Detectives Vecchio and Kowalski Would Not Do In the Bullpen

1. Feed the wolf Welsh's jelly donut from the box Frannie Vecchio brings in every Friday. Everybody knows that jelly is the Lieutenant's favorite. And if they don't, they should.

2. Argue about who "gets more action," as Detective Kowalski puts it. Welsh is confident neither of them has seen a naked woman since Kowalski got divorced and Vecchio got back from Vegas. And from the look on Constable Fraser's face, he's just as skeptical as Welsh.

3. Argue over who Fraser likes better. Fortunately, they seem to confine this activity to when the constable is actually present. Otherwise, Welsh might be concerned that their shockingly successful partnership was in jeopardy.

4. Throw a birthday party for Big Red. A lot of the attendees look disturbingly familiar, and Welsh would be more comfortable if they were in cuffs. Besides, he was hoping for a frosting polar bear, but the wolf got 'em all. Ditto for the sopressata on the sandwich platter.

5. Paperwork. Get the two of them clacking away in one place with their typewriters--you'd think a guy like Kowalski would be happy to use something with a spellchecker--and the Mountie standing there going "Ray, 'perpetrator' is spelled with an O'" in his teacher's pet voice, and it's half an hour tops before a highly indecorous office supplies fight breaks out. There's an office betting pool and everything. The only reason Welsh doesn't forbid them to fill out forms until after he goes home is that Welsh might be the only one who's noticed, but Constable Fraser joins in. His aim with a rubber-band is deadly, and it's pretty damn entertaining watching Kowalski and Vecchio blame each other for the Mountie's hits.

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:09:03 GMT

Hey guys.

I'm coming back to lj.

I still don't like them, but the last few policy change proposals seem reasonable and not stupid, and there are a lot practical problems with the syndicated feed (not being able to see who's reading, comments disappearing after a few weeks, having to track everything, not being able to respond to anonymous comments on the Inksome posts and knowing whether people are seeing them, not being able to make friendslocked or filtered posts, not being able to put spoilers or long posts behind a cut...) I'm still posting to comms on lj, I'm still reading and commenting on my friends' posts, so I'm not sure how not making lj host my content is a statement. I've held out this long because I don't want to give in, and I don't want to abandon Inksome. It's a wonderful, friendly place, but it's clear by now that no one on my f-list is going to move here, so...

I'm donating some money to Inksome, and I'm coming back. Here's how I see this working:

For the next week or so, I cross-post. After that, I will be posting only to lj, although all my old posts will stay up here and I'll keep my account. If you want to keep reading my journal, please friend belmanoir or subscribe to the rss feed over there.

If you have something to say about this, I'd love to hear it. But PLEASE don't comment just to say "glad you're coming back!" It will just make me feel worse.

Thanks lj ppl for reading this journal. Thanks to everyone who put up with uncut picspam and disappearing posts and everything. It means a lot.

Inksome ppl--I will miss you!

more More Joy Day snippets

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:18:22 GMT

For kormantic. Prompt: "Ray gets something on his tie and has to take it off. Other clothing follows, as Fraser can discern spots on fabrics that Ray had not previously been aware of."

RAY: Honey, I'm home!
FRASER: [from the kitchen] I'm in here, Ray.
RAY: [slings jacket over a chair, drops a hello kiss on Fraser's lips] You're making spaghetti?
FRASER: Yes. I hope that's all right.
RAY: [smells the pot and grimaces a little] Oh yeah, Benny, that's great. Lemme taste it, okay?
[Fraser steps out of the way. Ray grabs a spoon and moves to in front of the stove. Fraser stands behind him, puts his arms around his waist, and nuzzles his neck. Sucks his earlobe into his mouth as Ray is putting the spoon in his mouth.]
RAY: Dammit, Fraser, I got sauce on my tie!
FRASER: Sorry, Ray.
RAY: [removes his tie]
FRASER: [unbuttons Ray's top button and continues to kiss his neck further down]
RAY: [moans]
FRASER: You know, Ray, I think you got sauce on your shirt as well.
RAY: [concerned, looking at shirt] Shit, where?
FRASER: [points to a clean spot] There.
RAY: There's nothing there, Fraser.
FRASER: You don't see it, Ray?
RAY: See what, Fraser? There's nothing there!
FRASER: There's a small drop of oil, Ray. It's not noticeable now but I'm afraid if you let it sit, the oil will soak into the threads and spread.
RAY: [takes off shirt]
FRASER: [runs his hands over Ray's arms and kisses his shoulders]
RAY: Mmmm. Aren't you gonna put seltzer or something on my shirt?
FRASER: [from somewhere on Ray's upper back] Ray, I'm afraid your pants may be compromised as well. Perhaps you'd simply better strip.
RAY: There wasn't anything on my shirt, was there?
FRASER: [slides his hands under Ray's undershirt]
RAY: You're the most annoying man in the--sweet Jesus, do that again--
FRASER: [does it again]

For andeincascade, prompt: "the one joy Ray holds secretly in his heart."

There are a lot of good things in Ray's life. A lot of joys that he's not afraid to show the world. He's happy to spend six months in Florida with a smart, sexy blonde who looks great in a bikini, and then then he's happy to be back in Chicago with a new Riv. He's happy that when he got done paying off the mortgage, he still had enough hazard pay and golden bullet left over to buy himself a real Armani suit. He's happy to be godfather to Frannie's first kid.

But his most secret joy, the one he can't tell anyone about, the one he takes out and looks at every so often, is that when he was laid up in that hospital bed, and he asked Fraser if Mounties still always get their man, Fraser didn't correct him on the motto. That's how he knows Fraser's coming back.

for cysefin, prompt: Hard Core Logo, Joe/Billy. The title is from a bunch of Cosmo headlines I cut out. I think originally it was things you could say to wreck your own date, but...

5 Date Wreckers

1. "No, Billy, you cannot borrow the van. Pipe's cousin is coming over to look at the motherfucking radiator. You and your groupie will just have to ride the fucking bus."

2. "Hi Sarah, it's so lovely to meet you. Maybe you can convince Billy here to finally do his fucking laundry. I think he's been wearing that same fucking shirt since last Tuesday."

3. "Hey Billy, does Carrie know about this cunt? 'Cause I don't want her coming over here in a jealous fucking rage and busting up our equipment again."

4. "Sorry, Shanti, but Billy can't go out tonight. He's got some recording to do. What, fuckface? It costs money to rent a recording studio. Maybe next time you should focus on the schedule when we pass it around instead of on your hangover."

5. "Hey Billiam, have you been tested since you ass-fucked that hooker back in Calgary?"

The Continuing Adventures of Time Travel Sex Guy!

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:30:34 GMT

me: there needs to be a comic book series!
Sonia: Exactly. He'd have so many sexy adventures
And plus it makes him crossoverable with shows and movies set in any time period
me: it would be like dr who ecept way funnier to me
Sonia: It would be like dr who!!
me: BRAIN TWIN
Sonia: Wow
me: ray kowalski/elizabeth the first
ray kowalski/kit marlowe!
Sonia: Time travel sex guy. He's on patrol for sexual finds. It could be creating world peace or just giving release. But sometimes his time travel belt works wrong and hijinks never fail to follow strong.
TIME TRAVEL. SEX GUY.
me: eeee!
oh man, malfunctioning sex belt hijinks
it doesn't get better than that
Sonia: Hello. This is Kowalski we're talking about.
Things are not always going to work right. But no matter when he ends up the results are usually sexcellent
Sonia: Time travel sex guy. He's having sex throughout the times, but he never commits sexual crimes. Because he's a force for good with impressive wood. TIME TRAVEL SEX GUY
(I think I have a problem.)
me: A FORCE FOR GOOD WITH IMPRESSIVE WOOD
that is GENIUS
i can totally imagine one of those incredibly cheesy early 90s theme song guys singing this
Sonia: That's how I've been singing it!
me: although
if kowalksi went into the PAST
i think that a lot of what he did would be illegal
hello, anti-sodomy laws of the past
Sonia: Oh true.
Damn. MY SONG IS MADE OF LIES
Oh! Oh! We could change it to "never crosses sexual lines" and it would still sound the same
me: PERFECT
Sonia: \o/
me: there would TOTALLY have to be a Very Special Episode
where Kowalski is tried for sodomy
Sonia: Oh my god. YES.
This is why he hates the past
Sonia: I mean, the future has it's downsides but at least it's shiny
me: i'm just imagining kowalski on the stand
lawyer dude: "When you wrote 'the love that dare not speak its name,' were you not referring to the hideous crime of sodomy?"
kowalski: "i think i copied that outta some book. christ, you people need to take a chill aspirin. any of you want a blowjob? it's what i do best!"
Sonia: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And throughout the whole thing he's trying to get his belt to work and zap away, but the thing is like broken or something
And then at the last possible super dramatic second it zaps him out
dramatically
me: awwwwww
or maybe he gets stuck in hard labor!
it depends on the era i guess
i was imagining oscar wilde times which were less with the hanging
Sonia: True
ZOMG Oscar Wilde. Think about it
me: hey, he had a thing for brash younger blonds
Sonia: Time travel sex guy! Can he fly? NO! Only through time. But he will make your body and soul unwind. Time travel sex guy. (CAN'T STOP SEND HELP)
me: KEEP GOING
also can you PLEASE do a verse with a "dance as old as time" joke?
or "rhythm as old as time"?
because that is in EVERY GODDAMN 80S ROMANCE and it is SO DUMB
Sonia: Give me a second to think about it and I can
Time Travel Sex Guy. Past and future he knows every dance. But the one he does best is the one with no pants. Time Travel Sex Guy (yes. I realize that's not what you wanted, but well. Inspiration struck. I'll keep thinking)
me: heee
oh DUDE
the idea of kowalski doing like, courtly partner dances is ADORABLE
he'd be good at them, but he'd get kind of twitchy
Sonia: He so would
me: srsly kowalski+kit marlowe=otp
i slash EVERYONE with kit marlowe, actually
it's a character flaw

AND THEN, when I thought things could get no better, Sonia sent me THIS:

In a distant future bleak and metallic. There is one man on a quest most phallic.
He was sent through time with minimal instructions. And he gets down to business with minimal introductions
His name is Kowalski and he's on a hot mission. To comfort a dangerous scientist before he gets deadly with fission.

He hates the future and part of him (with no pun intended) wants to say screw it. But his duty is also his passion and he will not eschew it.
Time Travel Sex Guy, he'd applied for the job. Hey, it was either that or go undercover with the mob.
The past was no big, he knew how to act. What to look out for and how to attract.

But the future was different, nothing was safe. Plus those fucking silver bodysuits really did chafe.

OMG GUYS. PLATONIC IDEAL OF AWESOME, RIGHT THERE.

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:25:25 GMT

So...I used to be obsessed with Gilbert and Sullivan in middle school, and today while pondering fannish things at work my brain managed to recall most of the words to "A Policeman's Lot is Not a Happy One."

http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/pirates/web_op/pirates24.html

Dude guys the song is making fun of EXACTLY the kind of cop manpain that Ed Lane has! It's about how the policemen think that criminals are people too and how that makes it hard to arrest them and indirectly how stupid it is to feel that way. Which makes me wonder--Gilbert and Sullivan, motivated by general conservatism? Or was there some kind of Victorian equivalent of Flashpoint???

Saving the world one porn cliche at a time!

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:39:02 GMT

So, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, me and Sonia decided that Kowalski is Time Travel Sex Guy!

me: i really am amused by this use of time travel
me: i imagine kowalski as like, the time travel sex guy
Sonia: Does he have a theme song? Time Travel Sex Guy should have a theme song
me: he gets calls, like, "quick! you're needed in 1982 to give a blowjob!"
me: omg YES
me: what would it beee?
Sonia: Tiiiiime travell sexy guy! Sexing up history low and high
Sonia: Is there someone in the future
me: ::dies::
Sonia: who needs to be blown
me: kowalski would so think that was badassed
Sonia: then this is the guy who you need to be shown
Sonia: Time Travel! SEX GUY!
me: i am DYING
Sonia: I wish you could have heard me sing it
me: ME TOO
me: next time i see you
me: i am going to make you
Sonia: Reasonable
[...]
Sonia: Also: Tiiiiiiime travel sexy sexy guy. Stopping wars by showing some thigh
Sonia: I CAN'T STOP
me: eeee
Sonia: Also: Quick! Time Travel Sex Guy! You're needed in 1976 someone is hurt and needs comfort!
Sonia: TIME TRAVEL SEX GUY. Saving the world one porn cliche at a time
Sonia: He wont just go down in history, he'll go down ON history!
Sonia: He is a sacred missionary (position!) throughout time.
Sonia: He is a guardian of balance! Just ask him about that time at the circus in '52

So. An icon and a poster:

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 03:59:33 GMT

I...may have written Ed Lane/Ray Kowalski.

Safe to Eat Pie. NC-17, ~2500 words.

Also look, I'm the first entry in the new Flashpoint comm! ::is proud::

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 00:39:07 GMT

for supersekrit reasons i need to know how ed's carabiner thing he attaches himself to roofs with works. i can't figure out where the strap attaches to on his body...can anyone else tell?

SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE THIS NOW NOW NOW

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 22:18:44 GMT

me: also why do all italian desserts apparently require you to refrigerate them for ten billion years?

Sonia: Vast conspiracy

The fridge people are dirty. I just know it

me: lol

they're connected!

also i'm totally falling into the vecchio-is-a-fantastic-cook trap

when there is NO EVIDENCE for it!

i just love the idea so much

i can't resist

Sonia: I totally understand. I mean honestly all evidence points to it maybe not being his skill. But it would be ADORABLE and HOT and DOMESTIC and YAY

me: i suspect he knows his way around a kitchen

but isn't interested

i can buy him maybe having got into it in vegas

apparently cooking is a coveted skill in the mob[*]

Sonia: Fun fact!

me: but this is pre-vegas obviously

Sonia: Maybe the bookman is a great cook and he had to take lessons before going undercover!

me: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THAT IS THE GREATEST EVER

EVER EVER EVER

Sonia: That's what I'm saying

me: i am posting this NOW

[*] "Wiseguys have turned food preparation into a fetish. Remember the scene in Goodfellas where Paul Sorvino is lovingly cutting the pepperoni into slices as thin as a stamp? You see that stuff all the time. Wiseguys obsess about food. What kinds of food? Well, pasta, of course. Ziti, linguini, shells, ravioli, usually cooked al dente. Sauce, heaps and heaps of sauce, made from fresh tomatoes and spiced just right. It is a badge of honor to be a wiseguy who is known for preparing a good tomato sauce. Meatballs, of course, the size of pool balls. Sausage and peppers. Broccoli rabe. Braciole. Fish, chicken, steaks, chops. Calamari is popular, fresh, not fried. Breads must also be fresh. Cheeses, they love: a good mozzarella, soft and juicy, is to wiseguys what blood is to Dracula. Then they wash everything down with an expensive Italian wine and a good cup of espresso.

Since food is so important to wiseguys, the best way to insult them, short of disparaging their wives or mothers, is to crack wise about what they serve you." --The Way of the Wiseguy, by Joseph Pistone, a.k.a. Donnie Brasco.

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 03:24:12 GMT

Flashpoint was fabulous, also, PANTS. That's kind of all that's gonna be in my brain for a while now. So you know, if I seem out of it, or whatever, just assume that I'm thinking about PANTS.

Wrote the first 900 words of the Frannie/Victoria epic today. \o/ No Frannie yet, alas. Writing Victoria POV is HARD. Even harder than Stella. She doesn't TALK enough in the episodes, and most of the time when she does she's faking something. It's like writing Billy Tallent POV. Slippery as all fuck. But I'm excited anyway.

...But I miss Kowalski! I was actually trying to figure out if I could work him in somehow before I accepted that it's just outside the scope of the fic. I need to write something post-CotW next, so that I can write him.

In conclusion, PANTS.

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:47:21 GMT

sdwolfpup got her More Joy Day package! Seriously guys, these things are like a timed-release capsule of joy, because someone's gotten one and made me happy with their thank yous basically EVERY DAY this week.

Here's her ficlet. She requested post-CotW Fraser/Vecchio. I've been in that kind of mood recently too, SDW!

Okay, and not that I'm a neurotic perfectionist or anything...but if I had it to do over, I think I would cut the last two lines of this. But let it stand as a document! To the fact that I never know where to end things. Seriously, ask china_shop about part 2 of "Ray's Memory."

5 Things Ray Never Expected When He Left Chicago

1. He never expected to come back.

2. On the off chance he did come back, he sure as hell never expected the Riv to be in one piece. He said goodbye before he left, took her for one last drive and stroked her hood, called her "baby" and told her he loved her. He was right. Apparently she's at the bottom of the lake they call Michigan.

3. He never expected that Fraser would be even more annoying to his replacement than he was to Ray. But apparently he was, if this "lake they call Michigan" crap is anything to go by. It's amazing Kowalski never clocked him one.

4. He never expected to actually kind of like his replacement. Kowalski's a decent guy, even if he dresses from the poor box. He kept Fraser safe, and okay, he's a little possessive, but Ray gets that. At least he doesn't seem to be trying to get in the guy's jodhpurs. And honestly, it's a lot more fun solving crimes with Fraser when they're sometimes actually his cases that he gets paid for solving and there's someone else to tell Fraser when he's being crazy.

5. He never expected that Fraser would wait for him. Fraser even asked, and Ray screwed up his eyes and his courage and said, "as a friend." You don't tell a guy you love him right before you go on a suicide mission. As Kowalski would say, that isn't buddies. But Fraser, because he's crazy and annoying, he waited anyway.

What Ray did expect, though--he did expect Fraser to be the world's greatest kisser. Turns out he was right on the money.

\o/

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:09:43 GMT

I think I just pimped my uncle into watching Flashpoint!

Exciting and Joyful Things, part 2

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:48:46 GMT

Once again Dinosaur Comics is everything I want to be. Everyone think T-Rex's books are about his life!

Also! Some people have received their More Joy Day packages! Which means I can post their snippets. \o/

for brynnmck, prompt: "Joe Dick and Newbie and a Twinkie." This one is now my personal canon for why Joe has seen "Young at Heart."

[Takes place between the breakup of HCL and the reunion tour]

JOE: Hey, cuntface! I bought this Twinkie here and it's the stalest fucking thing I've ever eaten in my life!
NEWBIE: [reading the new Better Homes and Gardens] No refunds.
JOE: Oy, over here!
NEWBIE: [not looking up] No refunds.
JOE: [reaches across the counter and grabs Newbie by the vest] So give me another fucking twinkie, asshole.
NEWBIE: I would. But those are all about to expire too, and I have a friend down the block who's looking forward to them--
JOE: Listen, motherfucker, I weigh four times more than you. Give me the fucking Twinkie. And maybe some Doritos.
NEWBIE: [eying Joe] Maybe twice as much.
JOE: [dangerously] Did you just call me fat?
NEWBIE: Hey, I think the weight looks good on you. [winks] Have a Twinkie. On the house.
JOE: [looking at him like he's waiting for the catch] Glad to see you're being smart about this.
NEWBIE: Hey, maybe you could come over to my mom's place after my shift. I've got...[eyes Joe again]...Young at Heart. Just taped it off the classic movie channel. Sinatra, Doris Day, you'll love it.
JOE: What the fuck is wrong with you?
NEWBIE: I get off at midnight.
JOE: You got any blow?
NEWBIE: Only metaphorically.
JOE: [shrugs] I'll see. Gimme a pack of cigarettes. [Grabs the cigarettes, three Twinkies, a box of condoms, an egg salad sandwich, and a magazine on his way out.]
NEWBIE: [grinning] Freak.

Brynn got 2 because, um, I never sent her stuff from LAST More Joy Day. Prompt: "Ray and Ray and a park bench."

Five Things Kowalski Should NOT Be Allowed To Do On A Park Bench While Ray Is Babysitting Maria's Kids

1. Feed Ray's second doughnut to a passing Husky. But the dog looks like Dief, so Ray doesn't say anything.
2. Slouch.
3. Lean towards Ray, just a little. Just enough that Ray can smell him. He's wearing Ray's aftershave because he's too lazy to go to the store and buy more of his own. Ray's been nagging him about it--that stuff's not cheap--but secretly he kinda likes it.
4. Stretch his arm out, casually, along the top of the park bench. And Kowalski is the only guy Ray's ever met who could pull that move and make it look like his arm just really needed the extra legroom. But Ray wasn't born yesterday. He knows Kowalski's doing it on purpose.
5. Talk. Kowalski's actually behaving, he's talking about their cases and what they should order for dinner and baseball, but when the back of Ray's neck brushes his arm he stutters, and when Ray glances over at him he says defensively, "Hey, when I'm hard it's, uh, hard to make small talk," and snickers.

There is no way, no way in hell, that Ray is gonna make it till Maria gets off work.

For mlyn, prompt: "Vecchio's je ne sais quoi." (NB: Set sometime between "A Cop, a Mountie, and a Baby" and "The Deal," so Fraser doesn't realize yet that Ray can be quite deadly and dangerous when he's properly motivated.)

5 Things Fraser Likes About Ray Without Understanding Why

1. His hair. While (possibly, probably, almost certainly) soft, and a lovely dark color, it's thinning and the cut Ray prefers is--ill-advised, Fraser admits with an involuntary quirk of his lips. Furthermore, when he isn't carting a bag full of grenades Ray is not particularly deadly or dangerous, and Fraser suspects that he is afraid to cry. Yet when Ray runs a frustrated hand over his own scalp, Fraser is so jealous he bites his tongue until he tastes blood.

2. His complete disregard for traffic safety. Fraser is genuinely troubled, both by the breach of the law and the social contract, and by the physical danger in which Ray places both themselves and other drivers. This is compounded by his suspicion that Ray is far more law-abiding when Fraser is not in the passenger's seat and his consequent vague burden of guilt when Ray turns without signaling or runs a red light...but at the same time, he's secretly pleased. No one's ever teased him like that before.

3. His family. They're loud and rude and judgmental, and Fraser is certain that, with the unfortunate exception of Francesca, they consider him a milquetoast oddity. But watching Ray with them--giving his mother an exasperated kiss on the cheek or admiring his nieces' and nephews' clumsy artwork--fills Fraser with an inexplicable warmth.

4. His bad manners. Fraser is continually mortified by what Ray considers appropriate behavior: shoving his way to the front of a line, abusing customer service representatives, treating witnesses like criminals and criminals like...well, in a way that Fraser would never treat anyone. So when Ray favors a hapless waitress with a scathing ad hominem monologue merely for seeking to engage Fraser in polite, if rather personal, conversation and Fraser finds himself struggling not to smile affectionately, he is profoundly disturbed.

5. Fraser has no word for this. He doesn't know what it is or understand it. Je ne sais quoi, he thinks, and smiles. (He's doing that more and more often these days.) It's simply the essence of Ray. Few people seem to notice or value it, and yet it's gained such a hold on Fraser that merely the thought of not seeing Ray for even a day or two inspires a powerful sense of loss.

Exciting and Joyful Things, part 1

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:32:21 GMT

sdwolfpup wrote me fic for my birthday!!! and it was even an entry for my fingerprints challenge! i am the luckiest girl ever y'all, how do i have such great friends?

Small Gifts, F+V, Vecchio's fingerprints are on Fraser's sneakers!! Don't you want to know why? This story features one of my very favorite canon things, FRASER AND RAY PLAYING PICKUP BASKETBALL TOGETHER!!! OMG so adorable. They are such boyfriends. Or you know, they will be. Eventually.

The room had none of the signs of a normal bachelor’s apartment. But what Fraser didn't know about being normal could fill a whole city of basketball courts. They hadn't been working together that long, but even an hour was long enough to figure that something was a little off about Benny. Usually it was the fact he kept holding the door for everybody, and then lecturing Ray that scowling while holding the door was just as impolite as not holding it all.

BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS!

As always, both in her fic and in her vids, SDW finds Ray's sweet tough lonely center and makes me all choked up and happy. (You've all seen "You Can Call Me..." and "I Don't Care As Long As You Sing" by now, right? If you haven't, go download them now. RAYYYYYY! He's soft in the middle and the rest of his life is so hard! That lyric DEFINES Ray for me now.)

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 03:24:10 GMT

OMG such a fantastic birthday y'all!

It started off with a bang the night before when snoopypez wrote me fic!! Crazy little thing, F/V, GO READ IT and comment and omg it's so amazing you guys. I just. There are no words. It is everything I ever wanted and it's for meeeee and it's about 700 words and rated R and yet after I read it I'm like ohhhhkay time for a cigarette. And I DON'T SMOKE.

Before she posted it me and Jaime had this conversation (paraphrased):

JAIME: What is something you would like to have happen in a F/V sex scene?
ME: OMG tiepulling!
ME: Oh, oh, and can Fraser be kind of toppy?
JAIME: YOU ARE SO NOT HELPFUL.

Because she had ALREADY WRITTEN BOTH THOSE THINGS! ::loves::

Small excerpt:

Turns out Ray’s got a thing for Fraser.

Okay, back up a bit there. Because that right there, that’s obvious. It’s been obvious almost since the day they met. But that’s not what this is about.

This is about those times when Fraser’s got a suspect in interrogation and he’s not being Mr Goody Perfect Manners Mountie. He’s being a cop, asking the tough questions and not taking no for an answer and kinda scaring the perp.

And yeah, turns out? Ray’s got a thing for that.

Just, just, it's toppy!Fraser but not just in a Fraser-is-hot-with-that-glint-in-his-eye way, you know? It's about THEM and Ray loves that Fraser is being a COP and that Fraser trusts him enough not to be POLITE and omg go read it!

THEN _unhurt_ posted about some Hugh/Callum crab-related AUs I sent her and said nice things about how I'm deranged, and I felt all special.

And THEN I was podficced!!! zabira PODFICCED me you guys! I am FAMOUS! \z/ Check it out: Dishwasher-Safe! It's my Kowalski/Stella pegging fic! And it has never sounded so ADORABLE, the way she does enthusiastically kinky young Ray makes me grin FOREVER. Go download! And don't forget to leave feedback.

Also the comments on my last post bring me MUCH JOY! So much love and wtf-ery for Fraser and Vecchio and Vecchio's hideous cardigan. And dugrival said: "Also, boooooys! I fear you are slowly winning me over to the F/V side of things. *shakes fist*"

::heart explodes::

as Paul said:

(05:21:39 PM) twonth: that is the greatest compliment you could ever receive
(05:21:43 PM) twonth: besides "nice jugs"

SO TRUE. dugrival, I hope you were serious and not just toying with me!

And I got a massage and wrote fic and talked to my uncle and my sister and my friends Greg and Steve on the phone, and llamaontheloose reformatted my external hd to work with linux and told me many hilarious anecdotes, and all in all it was a relaxing, squee-filled birthday.

Thank you to everyone who commented or e-mailed with birthday wishes. I feel extremely loved.

Also. Today I mailed all my More Joy Day packages! Um, I realized when I got to the post office that I wasn't sure what was in all the packages, so I filled out the customs slips as best I could. Sorry if anything on there is misleading, hopefully this will not cause problems or disappointment. Also I can't remember the last time I spent so much on postage all at once! Eep. But I feel all joyful thinking about people opening them---email me when you get them, okay? That way I will know when it's safe to post the snippets and stuff I wrote.

Also I need a proxy to sign me up for ds_match. Anyone??? Please? Sign-ups are this Wednesday at noon Chicago time.

beta request

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 05:59:31 GMT

hey, folks who are familiar with both dresden files and due south...would any of you be willing to beta a porny little crossover for me sometime this week? harry/bob, f/k/v, ~3000 words. (q, just pretend you didn't see this, k?)

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 05:28:36 GMT

omg you guys i love them!

WHY HAD I NEVER SEEN THIS PICTURE? WHY? ifreet and j_s_cavalcante and me decided they were making out behind the filing cabinet and when the photographer appeared they hastily tried to look nonchalant.

soon is my biiiiiiirthday!

More Joy Day recap

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:16:05 GMT

Oh man, yesterday brought me SO MUCH JOY! I spent most of the day (when I wasn't having dinner with a friend and seeing Wall-E---which, cute, but also kind of meh, and why did they have to be HETEROSEXUAL robots, exactly? I did adore his little robot fannishness though, learning the dance numbers from that musical and freaking out when his girlfriend almost destroyed his VHS tape) prepping packages and staring at my inbox for lj notifications.

I made out like a bandit you guys!

I wrote a Fraser/Vecchio kissy thing for sageness's fabulous kissing fest and got loads of joy-inducing feedback, then bullied snoopypez into writing me amazing Frannie/Kowalski (she even threw in implied F/V because she is JUST THAT AWESOME) in exchange for a Shawn/Lassiter kiss. Look how many people are like PLEASE WRITE MORE K/FRANNIE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! \o/ (There's also loads of other great stuff in that post--a Frannie/Elaine ficlet, a Hugh/Callum snippet, a great F/V thing with Ray trying to teach Fraser dating etiquette--definitely worth exploring.)

catwalksalone offered drawings and I somehow managed to be an early bird and get one! Vecchio and Fraser being domestic! (My current obsession, I watch the show and just think about how much I want to watch them make dinner together, or do laundry or something. We do get to see them go grocery shopping and uh, going to the bank together and car shopping together and so on, so, thank you show.) And she did Ray and Fraser dancing, too!!!!

And I scored a F/V Riv drabble from pigtailedgirl, and a Shawn/Lassiter drabble from ifreet!

And sdwolfpup made me my very own F/V icon from a part of their arc that fascinates me endlessly (as evidenced by how often I've revisited it in fic):

Look how beautiful! Look at Frannie! And Fraser's angsty shoulders! omglove.

Time to go work on more packages. That offer is still open, btw.