OKAY GUYS I AM NOW OFFICIALLY BACK ON LIVEJOURNAL. PLZ TO BE READING BELMANOIR INSTEAD. INKSOME: WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS.

Argh. Spent all day at work thinking about DS Match fic and DO NOT HAVE TIME TO WORK ON IT. ARGH.

Also! I am the guest reccer at lj comm="ds_recsredux" this week! My theme: dorkiness. Because BOYS! My first post (focusing on Fraser; I'm doing Kowalski on Wednesday and Vecchio on Friday) is up here. Check it, and then read everything I rec! Because dorky!Fraser fic is LOVE.

So. On to the important thing: A Knight's Tale is FUCKING FANTASTIC OMG. About five minutes into the movie the entire crowd at a joust started clapping and pounding on things and singing "We Will Rock You."

mrs_laugh_track: This is kind of the moment when people figure out if they're going to really like this movie, or really not like this movie.
belmanoir: ::bounces up and down with gleeeee::

And! And! Heath Ledger being adorable and young! A chick blacksmith played by the girl from "Neverwhere"! Really crazy hats! Rufus Sewell (riding Bad Horse--srsly, there was a terrible death whinny)! Team!kink (which I totally didn't even know I HAD, and then they were all pitching in to write Heath Ledger's love letter to his girlfriend and making up traditional songs for their imaginary country of origin and walking together in slow motion and I was like EEEEEE)! Alan Tudyk's WTF face! Paul Bettany's ass PLAYING CHAUCER!

Why didn't anyone TELL me?

Picspam here.

Teaser:

Via petronelle, possibly the most adorable photograph currently in existence:



EEEE! His HAIR! And his GLASSES! And his TIE! And his SMIIIIIILE! Do me, Don McKellar!

This thread from yesterday's comments is basically the greatest thing in my life right now. It started out as me telling blackcurrant about me and mrs_laugh_track's idea about Joe Dick and Kowalski being accountability buddies in some kind of support organization for overemotional men, and the two of us have been elaborating on it ever since. You've always wanted to read an analysis of why Vecchio is totally punk rock, haven't you? ME TOO!! Plus, fundraising car washes, Vecchio and Joe going grocery shopping together, Joe complaining about new-sweater smell, and MUCH, MUCH MORE.

Seriously, I was supposed to have this super productive day yesterday, and instead I spent the entire day thinking about Joe Dick making brownies from a mix and talking F/V meta with brynnmck. It was awesome. Fandom, you bring the light into my life.

And now--back to transcribing Flashpoint! And maybe, later, making "A Knight's Tale" icons. DS Match? What's that?

Oh hey, also, naominovik is at the UW Bookstore at 7 on Monday and I'm going with ursule. Anyone want to come with? kormantic, you in?

REMINDER: At the end of this week I am moving back to livejournal and will stop posting over here. Plz to be reading belmanoir instead!

hey, i posted here:

http://belmanoir.livejournal.com/75651.html

sorry, i was really gonna do the x-posting thing, but the post is kinda long without the cuts and i didn't want to spam when i don't have to. featuring a Dark Knight fic rec and some more joy day snippets (joe dick hits a possum in the van! fraser and the rays watch psych!).

REMINDER: At the end of this week I am moving back to livejournal and will stop posting over here. Plz to be reading belmanoir instead!

So catwalksalone and I were talking and she said something about Vecchio washing Fraser's hair with anti-lice shampoo and how adorable that would be, and guess what my brain did today at work? AAAND you've met me before, so you know. Thanks Cat for a rockin' prompt!

What does my hair say? F/V, PG, 634 words. Ray washes Fraser's hair with Nix.

Also, I am officially not linking to Dinosaur Comics anymore because if you don't already read it, we can't be friends. Oh my god today's alt-text is the BEST!

...OK I was bluffing. Here it is.

Yesterday I went swimming with kormantic. It was pretty boss. We kicked an old lady in the head and then ate Indian food, at which point we realized that Elaine/Maggie is the BEST THING EVER. Also imagine Elaine moving to Canada and joining the Mounties. ELAINE IN THE BLUE UNIFORM. ::dies:: This MUST exist already! Please send recs!

Also I lurve DS Match, and the second Flashpoint episode made me cry.

REMINDER: At the end of this week I am moving back to livejournal and will stop posting over here. Plz to be reading belmanoir instead!

Aw, I got an adorable Whimsy Bomb! I just want to say, Team Whimsy has been taking rather a confrontational approach to this whole thing, and you know, I just don't see any point in that. I have nothing to prove, because I know in my heart that Team Reality is better. So go look at my lovely little F/V wingfic!! ♥ It's so cute I think I threw up a little in my mouth. ♥

Me and mrs_laugh_track and patosa went to see Batman today.

For the review go here because it's a bit (a TINY bit) spoilery and I didn't want to post it uncut.

Also, mrs_laugh_track sang me the Time Travel Sex Guy theme song! All three verses! Oh, don't all turn green at once. ::is lucky::

Hey, and I forgot to mention this earlier, but I wrote a Dresden Files/due South x-over for qe2's birthday:

"The sun was a shadow of leaves," Harry/Bob, F/K/V, NC-17, ~3500 words.

AND brynnmck wrote me birthday fic!!!! Impressions on Apartment 3J, F/V, sort of a 6 things Ray fingerprints fic. GO READ IT! It is everything you want from Fraser-POV F/V, there is so much longing and repression and Vecchio-adoration, my heart just...POOF! And Fraser is turned on by Vecchio reading his book. MMMMM.

Fraser could hear the pads of Ray's fingers sliding against the well-worn paper, the same paper Fraser's own fingers had traced a thousand times.

"Wordsworth—" The word came out hoarse; Fraser cleared his throat. "Wordsworth rather famously defined poetry as the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings from emotions recollected in tranquility."

Ray snorted. "Yeah, and you're the expert on spontaneous overflows of feelings, right, Benny?"

He said it without heat, clearly still distracted by the book, but Fraser felt the impact like the first blast of wind and ice when he stepped outside his cabin in midwinter. He knew how he must look to Ray—Ray, who rarely seemed to have a thought to which he didn't give voice, who, in fact, frequently gave voice to things that he didn't appear be thinking about at all, just a steady rolling aria of words wrapping around them both.

Fraser is so SAD, and then Ray is so AWESOME, and then they're so HAPPY, and...Brynn, you are amazing, you know that right?

me: time travel sex guy/hcl crossover?
Sonia: Well that would use time travel. Also sex. So I approve it. *uses stamp of approval*
me: like, what i want to know is, would he try to save joe? or like, would they have run into him at some point in their youth, inspiring the time travel game?
Sonia: HE INSPIRED THE GAME. Because that hand motion which has nothing to do with time travel is exactly how Kowalski would try and explain how his powers worked.
me: OMG YES!!! he'd be like...."it's like a tunnel, see? or no, it's like an apple peeler..." and little billy and joe would be SO FASCINATED and sekritly crushing on him.

as Sonia said, "THIS MAY BE OUR GREATEST CREATION YET."

for simplystars, prompt: "Anything Dief-ish, or Fraser & Ray/s friendship, or long-suffering-but-with-that-dry-wit Welsh." She gets all three!


5 Things Welsh Really Wishes Detectives Vecchio and Kowalski Would Not Do In the Bullpen

1. Feed the wolf Welsh's jelly donut from the box Frannie Vecchio brings in every Friday. Everybody knows that jelly is the Lieutenant's favorite. And if they don't, they should.

2. Argue about who "gets more action," as Detective Kowalski puts it. Welsh is confident neither of them has seen a naked woman since Kowalski got divorced and Vecchio got back from Vegas. And from the look on Constable Fraser's face, he's just as skeptical as Welsh.

3. Argue over who Fraser likes better. Fortunately, they seem to confine this activity to when the constable is actually present. Otherwise, Welsh might be concerned that their shockingly successful partnership was in jeopardy.

4. Throw a birthday party for Big Red. A lot of the attendees look disturbingly familiar, and Welsh would be more comfortable if they were in cuffs. Besides, he was hoping for a frosting polar bear, but the wolf got 'em all. Ditto for the sopressata on the sandwich platter.

5. Paperwork. Get the two of them clacking away in one place with their typewriters--you'd think a guy like Kowalski would be happy to use something with a spellchecker--and the Mountie standing there going "Ray, 'perpetrator' is spelled with an O'" in his teacher's pet voice, and it's half an hour tops before a highly indecorous office supplies fight breaks out. There's an office betting pool and everything. The only reason Welsh doesn't forbid them to fill out forms until after he goes home is that Welsh might be the only one who's noticed, but Constable Fraser joins in. His aim with a rubber-band is deadly, and it's pretty damn entertaining watching Kowalski and Vecchio blame each other for the Mountie's hits.

Hey guys.

I'm coming back to lj.

I still don't like them, but the last few policy change proposals seem reasonable and not stupid, and there are a lot practical problems with the syndicated feed (not being able to see who's reading, comments disappearing after a few weeks, having to track everything, not being able to respond to anonymous comments on the Inksome posts and knowing whether people are seeing them, not being able to make friendslocked or filtered posts, not being able to put spoilers or long posts behind a cut...) I'm still posting to comms on lj, I'm still reading and commenting on my friends' posts, so I'm not sure how not making lj host my content is a statement. I've held out this long because I don't want to give in, and I don't want to abandon Inksome. It's a wonderful, friendly place, but it's clear by now that no one on my f-list is going to move here, so...

I'm donating some money to Inksome, and I'm coming back. Here's how I see this working:

For the next week or so, I cross-post. After that, I will be posting only to lj, although all my old posts will stay up here and I'll keep my account. If you want to keep reading my journal, please friend belmanoir or subscribe to the rss feed over there.

If you have something to say about this, I'd love to hear it. But PLEASE don't comment just to say "glad you're coming back!" It will just make me feel worse.

Thanks lj ppl for reading this journal. Thanks to everyone who put up with uncut picspam and disappearing posts and everything. It means a lot.

Inksome ppl--I will miss you!

For kormantic. Prompt: "Ray gets something on his tie and has to take it off. Other clothing follows, as Fraser can discern spots on fabrics that Ray had not previously been aware of."

RAY: Honey, I'm home!
FRASER: [from the kitchen] I'm in here, Ray.
RAY: [slings jacket over a chair, drops a hello kiss on Fraser's lips] You're making spaghetti?
FRASER: Yes. I hope that's all right.
RAY: [smells the pot and grimaces a little] Oh yeah, Benny, that's great. Lemme taste it, okay?
[Fraser steps out of the way. Ray grabs a spoon and moves to in front of the stove. Fraser stands behind him, puts his arms around his waist, and nuzzles his neck. Sucks his earlobe into his mouth as Ray is putting the spoon in his mouth.]
RAY: Dammit, Fraser, I got sauce on my tie!
FRASER: Sorry, Ray.
RAY: [removes his tie]
FRASER: [unbuttons Ray's top button and continues to kiss his neck further down]
RAY: [moans]
FRASER: You know, Ray, I think you got sauce on your shirt as well.
RAY: [concerned, looking at shirt] Shit, where?
FRASER: [points to a clean spot] There.
RAY: There's nothing there, Fraser.
FRASER: You don't see it, Ray?
RAY: See what, Fraser? There's nothing there!
FRASER: There's a small drop of oil, Ray. It's not noticeable now but I'm afraid if you let it sit, the oil will soak into the threads and spread.
RAY: [takes off shirt]
FRASER: [runs his hands over Ray's arms and kisses his shoulders]
RAY: Mmmm. Aren't you gonna put seltzer or something on my shirt?
FRASER: [from somewhere on Ray's upper back] Ray, I'm afraid your pants may be compromised as well. Perhaps you'd simply better strip.
RAY: There wasn't anything on my shirt, was there?
FRASER: [slides his hands under Ray's undershirt]
RAY: You're the most annoying man in the--sweet Jesus, do that again--
FRASER: [does it again]


For andeincascade, prompt: "the one joy Ray holds secretly in his heart."

There are a lot of good things in Ray's life. A lot of joys that he's not afraid to show the world. He's happy to spend six months in Florida with a smart, sexy blonde who looks great in a bikini, and then then he's happy to be back in Chicago with a new Riv. He's happy that when he got done paying off the mortgage, he still had enough hazard pay and golden bullet left over to buy himself a real Armani suit. He's happy to be godfather to Frannie's first kid.

But his most secret joy, the one he can't tell anyone about, the one he takes out and looks at every so often, is that when he was laid up in that hospital bed, and he asked Fraser if Mounties still always get their man, Fraser didn't correct him on the motto. That's how he knows Fraser's coming back.


for cysefin, prompt: Hard Core Logo, Joe/Billy. The title is from a bunch of Cosmo headlines I cut out. I think originally it was things you could say to wreck your own date, but...

5 Date Wreckers

1. "No, Billy, you cannot borrow the van. Pipe's cousin is coming over to look at the motherfucking radiator. You and your groupie will just have to ride the fucking bus."

2. "Hi Sarah, it's so lovely to meet you. Maybe you can convince Billy here to finally do his fucking laundry. I think he's been wearing that same fucking shirt since last Tuesday."

3. "Hey Billy, does Carrie know about this cunt? 'Cause I don't want her coming over here in a jealous fucking rage and busting up our equipment again."

4. "Sorry, Shanti, but Billy can't go out tonight. He's got some recording to do. What, fuckface? It costs money to rent a recording studio. Maybe next time you should focus on the schedule when we pass it around instead of on your hangover."

5. "Hey Billiam, have you been tested since you ass-fucked that hooker back in Calgary?"

me: there needs to be a comic book series!
Sonia: Exactly. He'd have so many sexy adventures
And plus it makes him crossoverable with shows and movies set in any time period
me: it would be like dr who ecept way funnier to me
Sonia: It would be like dr who!!
me: BRAIN TWIN
Sonia: Wow
me: ray kowalski/elizabeth the first
ray kowalski/kit marlowe!
Sonia: Time travel sex guy. He's on patrol for sexual finds. It could be creating world peace or just giving release. But sometimes his time travel belt works wrong and hijinks never fail to follow strong.
TIME TRAVEL. SEX GUY.
me: eeee!
oh man, malfunctioning sex belt hijinks
it doesn't get better than that
Sonia: Hello. This is Kowalski we're talking about.
Things are not always going to work right. But no matter when he ends up the results are usually sexcellent
Sonia: Time travel sex guy. He's having sex throughout the times, but he never commits sexual crimes. Because he's a force for good with impressive wood. TIME TRAVEL SEX GUY
(I think I have a problem.)
me: A FORCE FOR GOOD WITH IMPRESSIVE WOOD
that is GENIUS
i can totally imagine one of those incredibly cheesy early 90s theme song guys singing this
Sonia: That's how I've been singing it!
me: although
if kowalksi went into the PAST
i think that a lot of what he did would be illegal
hello, anti-sodomy laws of the past
Sonia: Oh true.
Damn. MY SONG IS MADE OF LIES
Oh! Oh! We could change it to "never crosses sexual lines" and it would still sound the same
me: PERFECT
Sonia: \o/
me: there would TOTALLY have to be a Very Special Episode
where Kowalski is tried for sodomy
Sonia: Oh my god. YES.
This is why he hates the past
Sonia: I mean, the future has it's downsides but at least it's shiny
me: i'm just imagining kowalski on the stand
lawyer dude: "When you wrote 'the love that dare not speak its name,' were you not referring to the hideous crime of sodomy?"
kowalski: "i think i copied that outta some book. christ, you people need to take a chill aspirin. any of you want a blowjob? it's what i do best!"
Sonia: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And throughout the whole thing he's trying to get his belt to work and zap away, but the thing is like broken or something
And then at the last possible super dramatic second it zaps him out
dramatically
me: awwwwww
or maybe he gets stuck in hard labor!
it depends on the era i guess
i was imagining oscar wilde times which were less with the hanging
Sonia: True
ZOMG Oscar Wilde. Think about it
me: hey, he had a thing for brash younger blonds
Sonia: Time travel sex guy! Can he fly? NO! Only through time. But he will make your body and soul unwind. Time travel sex guy. (CAN'T STOP SEND HELP)
me: KEEP GOING
also can you PLEASE do a verse with a "dance as old as time" joke?
or "rhythm as old as time"?
because that is in EVERY GODDAMN 80S ROMANCE and it is SO DUMB
Sonia: Give me a second to think about it and I can
Time Travel Sex Guy. Past and future he knows every dance. But the one he does best is the one with no pants. Time Travel Sex Guy (yes. I realize that's not what you wanted, but well. Inspiration struck. I'll keep thinking)
me: heee
oh DUDE
the idea of kowalski doing like, courtly partner dances is ADORABLE
he'd be good at them, but he'd get kind of twitchy
Sonia: He so would
me: srsly kowalski+kit marlowe=otp
i slash EVERYONE with kit marlowe, actually
it's a character flaw


AND THEN, when I thought things could get no better, Sonia sent me THIS:

In a distant future bleak and metallic. There is one man on a quest most phallic.
He was sent through time with minimal instructions. And he gets down to business with minimal introductions
His name is Kowalski and he's on a hot mission. To comfort a dangerous scientist before he gets deadly with fission.

He hates the future and part of him (with no pun intended) wants to say screw it. But his duty is also his passion and he will not eschew it.
Time Travel Sex Guy, he'd applied for the job. Hey, it was either that or go undercover with the mob.
The past was no big, he knew how to act. What to look out for and how to attract.

But the future was different, nothing was safe. Plus those fucking silver bodysuits really did chafe.



OMG GUYS. PLATONIC IDEAL OF AWESOME, RIGHT THERE.

So...I used to be obsessed with Gilbert and Sullivan in middle school, and today while pondering fannish things at work my brain managed to recall most of the words to "A Policeman's Lot is Not a Happy One."

http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/pirates/web_op/pirates24.html

Dude guys the song is making fun of EXACTLY the kind of cop manpain that Ed Lane has! It's about how the policemen think that criminals are people too and how that makes it hard to arrest them and indirectly how stupid it is to feel that way. Which makes me wonder--Gilbert and Sullivan, motivated by general conservatism? Or was there some kind of Victorian equivalent of Flashpoint???

So, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, me and Sonia decided that Kowalski is Time Travel Sex Guy!

me: i really am amused by this use of time travel
me: i imagine kowalski as like, the time travel sex guy
Sonia: Does he have a theme song? Time Travel Sex Guy should have a theme song
me: he gets calls, like, "quick! you're needed in 1982 to give a blowjob!"
me: omg YES
me: what would it beee?
Sonia: Tiiiiime travell sexy guy! Sexing up history low and high
Sonia: Is there someone in the future
me: ::dies::
Sonia: who needs to be blown
me: kowalski would so think that was badassed
Sonia: then this is the guy who you need to be shown
Sonia: Time Travel! SEX GUY!
me: i am DYING
Sonia: I wish you could have heard me sing it
me: ME TOO
me: next time i see you
me: i am going to make you
Sonia: Reasonable
[...]
Sonia: Also: Tiiiiiiime travel sexy sexy guy. Stopping wars by showing some thigh
Sonia: I CAN'T STOP
me: eeee
Sonia: Also: Quick! Time Travel Sex Guy! You're needed in 1976 someone is hurt and needs comfort!
Sonia: TIME TRAVEL SEX GUY. Saving the world one porn cliche at a time
Sonia: He wont just go down in history, he'll go down ON history!
Sonia: He is a sacred missionary (position!) throughout time.
Sonia: He is a guardian of balance! Just ask him about that time at the circus in '52

So. An icon and a poster:

I...may have written Ed Lane/Ray Kowalski.

Safe to Eat Pie. NC-17, ~2500 words.

Also look, I'm the first entry in the new Flashpoint comm! ::is proud::

for supersekrit reasons i need to know how ed's carabiner thing he attaches himself to roofs with works. i can't figure out where the strap attaches to on his body...can anyone else tell?

me: also why do all italian desserts apparently require you to refrigerate them for ten billion years?

Sonia: Vast conspiracy

The fridge people are dirty. I just know it

me: lol

they're connected!

also i'm totally falling into the vecchio-is-a-fantastic-cook trap

when there is NO EVIDENCE for it!

i just love the idea so much

i can't resist

Sonia: I totally understand. I mean honestly all evidence points to it maybe not being his skill. But it would be ADORABLE and HOT and DOMESTIC and YAY

me: i suspect he knows his way around a kitchen

but isn't interested

i can buy him maybe having got into it in vegas

apparently cooking is a coveted skill in the mob[*]

Sonia: Fun fact!

me: but this is pre-vegas obviously

Sonia: Maybe the bookman is a great cook and he had to take lessons before going undercover!

me: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THAT IS THE GREATEST EVER

EVER EVER EVER

Sonia: That's what I'm saying

me: i am posting this NOW



[*] "Wiseguys have turned food preparation into a fetish. Remember the scene in Goodfellas where Paul Sorvino is lovingly cutting the pepperoni into slices as thin as a stamp? You see that stuff all the time. Wiseguys obsess about food. What kinds of food? Well, pasta, of course. Ziti, linguini, shells, ravioli, usually cooked al dente. Sauce, heaps and heaps of sauce, made from fresh tomatoes and spiced just right. It is a badge of honor to be a wiseguy who is known for preparing a good tomato sauce. Meatballs, of course, the size of pool balls. Sausage and peppers. Broccoli rabe. Braciole. Fish, chicken, steaks, chops. Calamari is popular, fresh, not fried. Breads must also be fresh. Cheeses, they love: a good mozzarella, soft and juicy, is to wiseguys what blood is to Dracula. Then they wash everything down with an expensive Italian wine and a good cup of espresso.

Since food is so important to wiseguys, the best way to insult them, short of disparaging their wives or mothers, is to crack wise about what they serve you." --The Way of the Wiseguy, by Joseph Pistone, a.k.a. Donnie Brasco.

Flashpoint was fabulous, also, PANTS. That's kind of all that's gonna be in my brain for a while now. So you know, if I seem out of it, or whatever, just assume that I'm thinking about PANTS.

Wrote the first 900 words of the Frannie/Victoria epic today. \o/ No Frannie yet, alas. Writing Victoria POV is HARD. Even harder than Stella. She doesn't TALK enough in the episodes, and most of the time when she does she's faking something. It's like writing Billy Tallent POV. Slippery as all fuck. But I'm excited anyway.

...But I miss Kowalski! I was actually trying to figure out if I could work him in somehow before I accepted that it's just outside the scope of the fic. I need to write something post-CotW next, so that I can write him.

In conclusion, PANTS.

sdwolfpup got her More Joy Day package! Seriously guys, these things are like a timed-release capsule of joy, because someone's gotten one and made me happy with their thank yous basically EVERY DAY this week.

Here's her ficlet. She requested post-CotW Fraser/Vecchio. I've been in that kind of mood recently too, SDW!

Okay, and not that I'm a neurotic perfectionist or anything...but if I had it to do over, I think I would cut the last two lines of this. But let it stand as a document! To the fact that I never know where to end things. Seriously, ask china_shop about part 2 of "Ray's Memory."


5 Things Ray Never Expected When He Left Chicago

1. He never expected to come back.

2. On the off chance he did come back, he sure as hell never expected the Riv to be in one piece. He said goodbye before he left, took her for one last drive and stroked her hood, called her "baby" and told her he loved her. He was right. Apparently she's at the bottom of the lake they call Michigan.

3. He never expected that Fraser would be even more annoying to his replacement than he was to Ray. But apparently he was, if this "lake they call Michigan" crap is anything to go by. It's amazing Kowalski never clocked him one.

4. He never expected to actually kind of like his replacement. Kowalski's a decent guy, even if he dresses from the poor box. He kept Fraser safe, and okay, he's a little possessive, but Ray gets that. At least he doesn't seem to be trying to get in the guy's jodhpurs. And honestly, it's a lot more fun solving crimes with Fraser when they're sometimes actually his cases that he gets paid for solving and there's someone else to tell Fraser when he's being crazy.

5. He never expected that Fraser would wait for him. Fraser even asked, and Ray screwed up his eyes and his courage and said, "as a friend." You don't tell a guy you love him right before you go on a suicide mission. As Kowalski would say, that isn't buddies. But Fraser, because he's crazy and annoying, he waited anyway.

What Ray did expect, though--he did expect Fraser to be the world's greatest kisser. Turns out he was right on the money.

I think I just pimped my uncle into watching Flashpoint!

Once again Dinosaur Comics is everything I want to be. Everyone think T-Rex's books are about his life!

Also! Some people have received their More Joy Day packages! Which means I can post their snippets. \o/

for brynnmck, prompt: "Joe Dick and Newbie and a Twinkie." This one is now my personal canon for why Joe has seen "Young at Heart."

( JOE: Hey, cuntface! I bought this Twinkie here and it's the stalest fucking thing I've ever eaten in my life! )

Brynn got 2 because, um, I never sent her stuff from LAST More Joy Day. Prompt: "Ray and Ray and a park bench."

( Five Things Kowalski Should NOT Be Allowed To Do On A Park Bench While Ray Is Babysitting Maria's Kids )