Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata.

I NEED TO FREAK OUT ABOUT THIS

2009-12-12T09:08:12Z

OKAY SO I AM VERY SLOWLY CATCHING UP ON DEXTER.

JUST WATCHED EPISODE FIVE.

I CAN NEVER UPDATE DEB.

If you are cool with being spoiled skip to eight minutes in.

dfnsafnaflajfkdsljakfa

Also Jennifer Carpenter is fucking amazing.

motherfucker

2009-11-09T18:46:00Z

ffffffffffff holy shit where did all this homework and assignments and papers come from?

I think apping a counselor just went out the window, unless I can kick my ass into being majorly productive over the next two days. gg me?

Also yaaaay my inksome layout is not broken anymore :)

anime poll

2009-09-15T20:17:15Z

My definition of "seen" is if I've watched at least a handful of episodes and know the basic plot.

I. Action and Adventure
(X) .hack//SIGN
( ) Airmaster
( ) Battle Arena Toshinden
( ) Bleach
( ) Blood+
( ) Burst Angel
( ) City Hunter
(X) Cowboy Bebop
( ) Dragonball
( ) Flame of Recca
( ) GetBackers
(X) InuYasha
( ) Lupin III
( ) Mai-HiME
( ) Naruto
(X) One Piece
( ) Tenjou Tenge
(X) Trigun
(X) Saiyuki
( ) Yu Yu Hakusho

Total Here: 6/20

II. Comedy and Parody
( ) 2×2 = Shinobuden
( ) Adventures of the Mini Goddesses
( ) All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku Nuku
( ) Azumanga Daioh
( ) Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan
(X) DiGi Charat
( ) Dragon Half
( ) Excel Saga
(X) Fruits Basket
( ) Galaxy Angel
( ) Here is Greenwood
( ) Kodomo no Omocha
(X) Kyou Kara Maou!
( ) Midori Days
( ) Pani Poni Dash
( ) Project A-ko
( ) Ranma 1/2
( ) Tenchi Muyo
( ) Those Who Hunt Elves
( ) Urusei Yatsura

Total Here: 3/20

III. Drama and Miscellaneous
( ) Beck
( ) Death Note
( ) Full Moon wo Sagashite
(X) Gankutsuou
() Genshiken
( ) Glass Mask
( ) Haibane Renmei
( ) Hitsuji no Uta
() Honey & Clover
( ) Kaleido Star
( ) Last Exile
( ) Le Portraite de Petite Cossette
() Monster
( ) Paradise Kiss
(X) Princess Mononoke
( ) Read or Die OVA
() Speed Grapher
( ) Twin Spica
(X) Weiss Kreuz
( ) Wings of Honneamise
( ) Yakitate!! Japan

Total Here: 3/20

IV. Ecchi/Mature
( ) Agent Aika
( ) Cutey Honey
( ) Ebichu
( ) Golden Boy
( ) Grenadier
( ) Hand Maid May
( ) He Is My Master
( ) Iketeru Futari
( ) La Blue Girl
( ) Lingerie Senshi Papillon Rose
( ) Mahoromatic
( ) Mezzo Forte
( ) Miyuki-chan in Wonderland
( ) My Dear Marie
( ) Najica Blitz Tactics
( ) Negima
( ) Puni Puni Poemy
( ) Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend
( ) Wicked City
( ) Yumeria

Total Here: 0/20

V. Fantasy and Supernatural
(X) Angel Sanctuary I've only read the parts with Raziel ...
( ) Aquarian Age
(X) Berserk
( ) El Hazard
( ) Final Fantasy Unlimited
(X) Fullmetal Alchemist
(X) Howl’s Moving Castle
(X) Magic Knight Rayearth
( ) Mushishi
(X) Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
(X) Record of Lodoss War
( ) Scrapped Princess
( ) Slayers
( ) Tales of Eternia
(X) Trinity Blood
( ) Tsubasa Chronicle
( ) Vampire Hunter D
( ) Violinist of Hameln
(X) Vision of Escaflowne
(X) X: TV

Total Here: 10/20

VI. Historical and Alternate History
( ) Anne of Green Gables
( ) Basilisk
( ) Barefoot Gen
( ) Chrono Crusade
( ) Grave of the Fireflies
( ) Fire Tripper
( ) Kaidomaru
( ) Legend of Condor Hero
( ) Millennium Actress
( ) Nadia – Secret of Blue Water
( ) Ninja Scroll
( ) Otogizoushi
( ) Peacemaker Kurogane
( ) Porco Rosso
( ) Rose of Versailles
(X) Rurouni Kenshin
( ) Samurai 7
(X) Samurai Champloo
( ) Steel Angel Kurumi
( ) Victorian Romance Emma

Total Here: 2/20

VII. Kids and Family
( ) Angelic Layer
( ) Astro Boy
( ) Beyblade
( ) Castle in the Sky
( ) Detective Conan
(X) Digimon
( ) Doraemon
(X) Hamtaro
( ) Kiki’s Delivery Service
(X) Kimba the White Lion
( ) Monster Rancher
(X) My Neighbor Totoro
(X) Pokemon
( ) Samurai Pizza Cats
( ) Sazae-san
( ) SD Gundam Force
( ) Sonic X
( ) Speed Racer
(X) Spirited Away
( ) Yu-Gi-Oh

Total Here: 6/20

VIII. Magical Girls and Boys
(X) Cardcaptor Sakura
( ) D.N.Angel
( ) Earth Girl Arjuna
( ) Erementar Gerad
( ) Hime-chan no Ribbon
( ) Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne
( ) Magic Users Club
( ) Magical Girl Pretty Sammy
( ) Magical Stage Fancy La La
( ) Mahou no Star Magical Emi
( ) Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha
( ) Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok
( ) Ojamajou DoReMi
( ) Oku-sama wa Mahou Shoujo
( ) Pretear
(X) Sailor Moon
( ) Saint Tail
( ) Tokyo Mew Mew
( ) Ultra Maniac
( ) Wedding Peach

Total Here: 2/20

IX. Romance
( ) Ah! My Goddess
( ) Ai Yori Aoshi
( ) Air
(X) Ayashi no Ceres
( ) Boys Be
(X) Chobits
( ) Fushigi Yuugi
( ) Hana Yori Dango
(X) His and Her Circumstances (aka Kare Kano)
( ) Kimagure Orange Road
( ) Kimi ga Nozomu Eien
( ) Love Hina
( ) Maison Ikkoku
( ) Marmalade Boy
( ) Peach Girl
( ) Piano
( ) Please Teacher!
( ) SaiKano
( ) To Heart
( ) Video Girl Ai

Total Here: 3/20

X. Science-Fiction
( ) Appleseed
( ) Blue Seed
( ) Bubblegum Crisis
( ) Crest of the Stars
( ) Galaxy Express 999
(X) Gundam (wing :|)
(X) Macross (plus)
( ) Outlaw Star
( ) Patlabor
( ) Planetes
( ) Please Save My Earth
( ) RahXephon
( ) Saber Marionette
( ) s-CRY-ed
( ) Soukyuu no Fafner
( ) Space Battleship Yamato
( ) Stellvia
( ) Transformers
( ) Voices of a Distant Star
( ) Xenosaga: The Animation

Total Here: 2/20

XI. Shounen-Ai and Shoujo-Ai
( ) Ai no Kusabi
( ) Descendants of Darkness
( ) Earthian
( ) Fake
( ) Fish in the Trap
( ) Galaxy Fraulin Yuna
(X) Gravitation
( ) Haru wo Daiteita
( ) Kannazuki no Miko
( ) Kizuna
( ) Lesson XX
( ) Loveless
( ) Maria-sama ga Miteru
( ) Mirage of Blaze
( ) Oniisama E
( ) Seikimatsu Darling
( ) Song of the Wind in the Trees
( ) Sukisho
( ) Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito
( ) Zetsuai/Bronze

Total Here: 1/20

XII. Sports
( ) Ace wo Nerae
( ) Ashita no Joe
( ) Ayane’s High Kick
( ) Baki the Grappler
( ) Battle Athletes
( ) Buzzer Beater
( ) Captain Tsubasa
( ) Eyeshield 21
( ) Ginban Kaleidoscope
( ) Hajime no Ippo
( ) Hikaru no Go
( ) Initial D
( ) Major
( ) Monkey Turn
( ) One Pound Gospel
( ) Prince of Tennis
( ) Princess Nine
( ) Slam Dunk
( ) Suzuka
( ) Wild Striker

Total Here: 0/20

XIII. Surreal and Psychological
() Akira
( ) Betterman
( ) Boogiepop Phantom
( ) Elfen Lied
( ) FLCL
() Gantz
(X) Ghost in the Shell (movie or TV)
(X) Hellsing (… you know I think this should be in supernatural but whatever)
( ) Jigoku Shoujo
( ) Karas
( ) Madlax
( ) Melody of Oblivion
(X) Neon Genesis Evangelion
( ) Noir
(X) Paranoia Agent
( ) Perfect Blue
( ) Princess Tutu
( ) Revolutionary Girl Utena
( ) Serial Experiments Lain
( ) Texhnolyze

Total Here: 4/20

GRAND TOTAL: 42/260

... you know, that's actually more than I expected.

belljar @ 2009-08-15T15:49:00

2009-08-15T19:55:03Z

Well, as this seems to be the inksome thing right now, I too will post my startling accurate results.

Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...

9 - the Peacemaker

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose BX - your Enneagram type is NINE (aka "The Mediator")

"I am at peace"

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.

• I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.

• Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.

• Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.

• Ask me questions to help me get clear.

• Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.

• Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.

• I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.

• Let me know you like what I've done or said.

• Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a NINE

• being nonjudgmental and accepting

• caring for and being concerned about others

• being able to relax and have a good time

• knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

• my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

• my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

• being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a NINE

• being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

• being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

• being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

• being confused about what I really want

• caring too much about what others will think of me

• not being listened to or taken seriously

NINEs as Children Often

• feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

• tune out a lot, especially when others argue

• are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

NINEs as Parents

• are supportive, kind, and warm

• are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy. Discover the 9 Types of People.

Harper: San Francisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test? so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!

(copypaste the HTML-code from below to your profile or blog!)

please, leave a comment HERE

you wanna know MORE? so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type... ...even more you'll find in Google

_____________________

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose BX. Use the BACK-button of your browser to see the other options.

Take The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test at HelloQuizzy

belljar @ 2009-06-29T12:12:00

2009-06-29T16:14:50Z

Haha, sudden and massive rp funk, hello.

I simultaneously kind of feel like playing a lot and dropping right out.

No idea where this even came from.

belljar @ 2009-05-11T16:51:00

2009-05-11T20:56:23Z

Lectures that involve deconstructing pornography are fun. Who knew.

In other news, I should really get on picking out a song to analyze using gender theories for this class' final essay. If anyone has a good suggestion of a song dealing with gender/sexuality in some way, please share :|a

I'm currently considering Origin of Love, but still looking around.

belljar @ 2009-04-03T21:42:00

2009-04-04T01:58:16Z

Don't you hate uncomfortable, stupidly scary, stomach twisting in anxiety while you blink up at the ceiling thinking god what the hell am I doing with my life moments?

Because I do. And they are, unfortunately, being more and more frequent.

belljar @ 2009-03-24T19:22:00

2009-03-25T00:16:04Z

Oh little accomplishments. Recent things that have contributed to my good mood, since I've been somewhat apathetic as of late:

-actually eating three separate meals in a day
-..........camwhoring
-reaching the halfway point in Middlemarch thank god.
-vacuuming/laundry/cleaning my room in general. I like my spaces neat, helps me think.
-having a friend tell me they've been waiting for me, but not in a "man you were supposed to be at the coffee shop half an hour ago" kind of way. It was sweet, and comforting.
-My Modernisms prof. He's so hot~ and dresses well~ and has an amazing vocabulary and way of speaking.
-figured out what I'm doing in the aa fic I've been pissing around with.

So far, decent start to the week.

belljar @ 2009-03-08T19:41:00

2009-03-08T23:53:47Z

I think my mood for the past five days could be effectively described as "ugh".

Also, finishing Middlemarch is going to fucking kill me. It's good. Just, Jesus.

belljar @ 2009-02-07T17:40:00

2009-02-07T22:46:28Z

Behold: my layout is now pretty.

belljar @ 2009-02-03T20:49:00

2009-02-04T02:04:00Z

Today I:
-Unpacked.
-Made a 'homework to do list' for possibly the first time ever.
-Cleaned my room. Which consisted of organizing everything/wiping down surfaces/getting rid of garbage and recycling/moving all my books from one shelf to another. Was going to vacuum but will do that tomorrow instead.
-Plotted out, gathered up quotes for, and got a good start on one of my essays.
-Read two hundred pages of a four hundred page book.
-Figured out the precise angles I need to use when pointing two fans at my laptop in order to prevent the thing from overheating.

My sleep schedule is still horribly out of whack which means I slept in until about eleven and now feel very tired when it's only 9 pm. But I feel accomplished that I'm not slacking off during my first few days back at school.

belljar @ 2009-01-07T14:42:00

2009-01-07T19:56:33Z

So already have a kind-of-sort-of fic journal thing, buuuut as I have little idea what to do with my inksome, I'm going to throw stuff here too. Probably not everything I write, but some of it. Why not?

Written for Rena for CFUD's Secret Santa. Teeny tiny edits have been made to this version (mostly just me being picky about sentence structure).

Four Pieces of Takabe Youhei (and one that isn’t)
World Embryo
1505 words

i)

When they meet Youhei is grinning, tugging the goggles from his eyes and letting them snap into his hair before climbing off his scooter. Hayato clicks his tongue against his teeth, tapping the toe of his shoe to the cracked pavement and commenting with a dry lit that he does hope Youhei saw fit to not drive himself into anymore close calls on the way over.

Rena watches the way the boy laughs and throws up his hands and somehow manages to completely brush off the question without really bothering to answer (hey hey a lot of stuff happened, you know?) and Hayato rolls his eyes, shrugs a shoulder, inclines his head towards her as a kind of introduction.

“I’ve mentioned Arisugawa-san to you before.”

Youhei’s eyebrows lift into his hairline. He throws out a hand for her to shake (which she declines), touches her shoulder (she gasps), spins around to face Hayato again (a quiet one, huh?) and smiles back at her and says that he likes the ribbons in her hair (and she stutters and blushes and asks what that has to do with anything. He laughs again, but not unkindly, not at her.).

“I’m Youhei. Nice to meet you, Rena.”

“Arisugawa.”

“Ha, sorry sorry. Arisugawa.”

ii)

“What are you doing?”

She nearly drops her camera.

Youhei chuckles and raises his hands in surrender when Rena scowls at him. She wipes an invisible thumbprint from the lens as she waits for him to leave (she has learnt after repeat performances that when she ignores someone they tend to follow suite), but instead Youhei rolls his shoulders, stretches, and hunkers down with his back to a tree, watching.

Rena stares at him over her shoulder until her stiffening neck is enough to confirm that he has no intentions of moving. She considers packing away her equipment and leaving instead, but there is something about Youhei’s quiet distance, the way his eyes remain on the scenery and how his hands neatly fold together between his bent keens that doesn’t make his presence feel invasive and or impolite.

She twists on her heel, raises the camera and takes a few more shots (a footprint, an empty bench, a stray cat licking it’s front paw) but begins to feel self-conscious at having another there to witness her hobby, someone she has not half forgotten yet, and looks at Youhei again. He tilts his head at her in response, unsmiling.

“I came to tell you I’m your partner now.”

She lowers the camera. He tells her that Hayato woke up, that he’ll live, but he won’t walk again. Oh he can still use his jinki, but who would send a guy out there in a wheelchair, right? He begins to smile as he goes on, but it’s different and wrong and not the same way he flashed his teeth and crinkled his eyes when they met. Youhei falls silent, traces a finger through the dirt and adds, almost as an after thought, that if she doesn’t want him as a partner, that’s okay too.

“No.” she says. It comes out sharply. “It’s fine.”

He nods, stands, mouth forming back into that thin straight line that Rena finds preferable it to the strange expression he wore while they spoke. She brushes the hair from her face, brings up the camera from where it hangs against her chest to snap a photo of Youhei’s retreating back.

It’s too quick, too spontaneous, will be off centred and blurred and make her question why she even bothered to take it at all a day later when the film is developed.

iii)

“Arisugawa! Rena! Shit, come on you’re okay right?”

Rena blinks, the edges of her vision blurring. She has never heard Youhei’s voice take on that tone before.

“Yeah, there you go. Hey, don’t try to move, take it easy. I’ve got you, you’re fine.”

Hands under her arms, lifting her small body up and down again so her head is resting on something that is not the warehouse concrete, something yielding and warm.

“You… you shouldn’t have let down your guard until we checked.” He says. She squints and has to blink again before she can see him, notices his eyes are still a flashing yellow and that the blue streaks along his cheekbones have yet to disappear. He looks angry, brows knitted together, jaw clenched and stiff. But his words are shaky, soft.

“Mm.” She doesn’t feel like speaking. It takes her another moment to piece together from the angle of his face that she is resting on his lap. She suddenly feels hot.

“Hey, what did I just say about moving?”

“You…” she can’t finish.

“Ha, me.” His fingers run along her forehead. “You’re bleeding a bit. Does it hurt?”

“No. How bad--?”

“It’s not. Probably. We’ll have someone check. Don’t fall asleep, okay?”

“We should leave.”

“In a minute. Think I’ll have to carry you?”

“N-no. I can walk.“

Youhei laughs, quietly. “Yeah, I know, but I don’t want you to.” He slips a hand under he knees, curls an arm around her back and stands.

“Just let me do this, okay?”

Her silence is agreement enough.

iv)

“Rena—“

”Arisugawa.”

“Right, sorry. Come on though—“

“No.”

“Please?”

“Takabe.”

“But it’s such a pain to do by myself!”

“So stop.”

“The roots look stupid.” He wrinkles his nose, runs a hand through his hair. For Youhei, it’s the equivalent of pouting. Rena exhales in one quick, irritated breath and crosses her arms.

An hour later he has snagged the sleeve of her coat and is tugging her up the stairs to his apartment. It’s small, grey, empty. Rena sees nothing there that resembles Youhei in the brief glimpse she’s given as he pulls her into the bathroom.

He’s kneeling, head bowed with a towel wrapped around his shoulders as Rena applies yellow dye to the dark brown roots of his hair. Halfway through she has to stop, carefully run a cloth over her palms and tie her own hair out of her face. Youhei wipes stray running lines of dye from the back of his neck and forehead as he waits.

“Why do you do this?” Rena mumbles, picking through his hair with a comb to find what she’s missed. Youhei hums as he thinks, and Rena’s fingers twitch against his scalp.

“I look a lot like my Dad, you know?”

“No, I don’t.” Unlike herself, Youhei keeps no photographs.

“We don’t get along that well. Never did.” He shrugs, and chuckles apologetically when Rena has to fix the towel. She pauses at her work, frowning. It’s difficult for her to imagine Youhei not getting along with anyone.

“Arisugawa?”

“Do you…” she’s not sure if she should ask, and starts to blush.

“Do I…?”

“You don’t miss him.”

“Nah.”

“You’re family.”

“We’re related. Family is something else.”

Rena doesn’t understand and so doesn’t question further. Eventually she tells Youhei to get up and watches as he smiles at himself in the mirror, tucking his chin to his chest to examine the dye job.

v)

There are never funerals for the ones that die, but each year a memorial service is held out of respect at FLAG headquarters. Someone speaks of the fallen, of how they gave their lives for something good and worthy and potent. Photographs are placed around the room. You’re encouraged to linger.

The chairwoman sits in the front row, eyeliner and mascara perfect despite her watering eyes. She presses a handkerchief to a dry cheek and Rena watches the way Riku’s lips twist, the way his jaw hardens and his fists clench in his lap. She thinks it makes sense that he can recognize another liar so clearly.

The photograph of Youhei is at the back of the room, neatly mounted in a frame. He’s unprepared for the shot and expressionless. His back is to his scooter, hands shoved into the pockets of his coat, head turned with his eyes directed at something off screen. The lighting is too overpowering on one side and too dull on the other, the angle of the camera making the viewer’s eyes want to trail down towards the corner where there’s nothing to see.

Riku steps up beside her, and she pretends to not notice the ways his gaze flickers from her to the portrait and back again.

“I don’t like the picture they used.” She says. Riku makes a sound in his throat.

Eventually the crowd thins and Riku says her name, softly tugs at her sleeve when he notices the chairwoman watching them. It shouldn’t be easy to look at him without glaring, to speak calmly and not in clipped, harsh tones. It shouldn’t be easy to let him curl his fingers around her wrist and gently pull until she’s forced to either follow or fight back. It shouldn’t be easy for him to lead her out of the room, away from the photograph that is not the Youhei she knew at all.

It shouldn’t be, but somehow is, terribly so.

belljar @ 2008-12-25T21:01:00

2008-12-26T02:05:43Z

Test entry for while I mess around with the layout. Move along good sir or madam o7